User talk:Delorech/sandbox

Hi Chris, Great job on your article so far! Here are a couple of suggestions for improvement and some of its strengths!

Areas of Improvement: 1. Headings, spacing and formatting - It is difficult to tell as of now which areas belong under the same or different headings. To give the bigger sections separated and larger headings, you can insert ==Views on the Jonah Complex== instead of keeping the section title in the same font and format. This way, subsections are discernible from over-arching headings. The bullet points in the section titled “Causes” need to be properly formatted. Also, all of the sections are close and the paragraphs are dense. Adding some space to separate ideas will facilitate easier reading and understanding of your article.

2. Fully relating examples to article topic - Several examples are cited to help the reader more fully understand the applications of the idea of a Jonah complex. Some of them can be elaborated further to appropriately demonstrate their relation to the topic. In the section titled Psychoanalytic theory, elements of Freudian theory are introduced and explained. The connection to the Jonah Complex is mentioned in the final sentence, but there may be more to say to fully explain the relation of these ideas.

3. Proofread the article. Reading through, the information is really good but there are a lot of typos and even some phrases that could be worded a little better to make for an easier read for people who are just skimming through Wikipedia.

Strengths 1.Clear progression and organization - The article overall does an accurate job of demonstrating the idea of the Jonah Complex. The inclusion of the theory’s history, examples, and relations to other theories provides a broad understanding of the topic.

2. A nice job of keeping much of the existing work and just expanding upon it to create a very comprehensive article that really gives readers a great understanding of the concept!

3. Great inclusion of a lot of Maslow’s theories on self-actualization. Consider possibly even including some internal links to some of Maslow’s work; your article makes the connections between his work and the Jonah Complex very clear.

Mfrigon (talk) 22:25, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

Hey Margeau,

Thank you so much for all of your advice! The only reason we were able to figure out the heading thing was because of you guys! We'll work on some more of the stuff that you suggested as we get closer to the dealine!

Delorech (talk) 15:44, 16 November 2012 (UTC)Chris