User talk:Dennis.l.white/sandbox

Hi Dennis! Your article (subsection?) is detailed and interesting. Although your analysis enriches the information you provide, I would suggest taking a more neutral stance in your writing, in order to conform with Wikipedia's guidelines. Try to avoid making statements about the value of certain people, places or achievements. Also, consider going deeper into the history of boxing in Tepito, explaining in detail the origins of its popularity there. You might also provide more information on its decline in popularity.

I'm sure you were going to get to this later, but remember to cite your sources.Dlevinson1 (talk) 16:39, 9 April 2017 (UTC)

draft comments
Hi Dennis,

Overall, you have an interesting topic and good information about it, but i think the tone of the writing does seem a bit too engaged, more like a sports commentator rather than an objective wikipedia article. I like the use of statistics, like the boxer's win/loss record, could you include something like this for each boxer you specifically mention? (if such stats are available...) It might also be good to have a sort of introductory paragraph somewhere near the beginning where you describe Tepito a little bit, instead of starting directly with boxing and having information about Tepito itself spread through the rest of the article. like what is the cultural or socio-economic background that helped Tepito become such an important neighborhood for boxing. Another thing to look at might be how the popularity of boxing in Tepito has affected society, since it seems to be a very established/respected sport in Mexico as a whole and in Tepito specifically. Malverson7 (talk) 18:33, 10 April 2017 (UTC)