User talk:Dero rato khan jalbani

Welcome!
Welcome to Wikipedia, Dero rato khan jalbani! Thank you for your contributions. I am CaroleHenson and I have been editing Wikipedia for some time, so if you have any questions feel free to leave me a message on my talk page. You can also check out Questions or type at the bottom of this page. Here are some pages that you might find helpful: Also, when you post on talk pages you should sign your name using four tildes ( ~ ); that will automatically produce your username and the date. I hope you enjoy editing here and being a Wikipedian!  CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 09:53, 8 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Introduction
 * The five pillars of Wikipedia
 * How to edit a page
 * Help pages
 * How to write a great article

January 2014
Hello, I'm BracketBot. I have automatically detected that [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=589742598 your edit] to Jalbani may have broken the syntax by modifying 1 "[]"s. If you have, don't worry: just [ edit the page] again to fix it. If I misunderstood what happened, or if you have any questions, you can leave a message on [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?action=edit&preload=User:A930913/BBpreload&editintro=User:A930913/BBeditintro&minor=&title=User_talk:A930913&preloadtitle=BracketBot%20–%20&section=new my operator's talk page].
 * List of unpaired brackets remaining on the page:

Thanks, BracketBot (talk) 09:56, 8 January 2014 (UTC)
 * tribe speaks Balochi, Siraiki [Sindhi language|Sindhi].

Hello, I'm BracketBot. I have automatically detected that [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=589770652 your edit] to Jalbani may have broken the syntax by modifying 1 "[]"s. If you have, don't worry: just [ edit the page] again to fix it. If I misunderstood what happened, or if you have any questions, you can leave a message on [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?action=edit&preload=User:A930913/BBpreload&editintro=User:A930913/BBeditintro&minor=&title=User_talk:A930913&preloadtitle=BracketBot%20–%20&section=new my operator's talk page].
 * List of unpaired brackets remaining on the page:

Thanks, BracketBot (talk) 14:10, 8 January 2014 (UTC)
 * tribe speaks Balochi, Siraiki [Sindhi language|Sindhi].

Jalbani
Hi,

Thanks for your edits to Jalbani. I reverted them to return better capitalization, punctuation and grammar. If it helps, this shows edits to the text you had entered:


 * Khan Sahib Sardar Zia Ahmed Jalbani is head of tribe and leading figure of the Jalbani tribe, who represents Jalbanis, and protects the interests of Jalbani tribe members all over in Pakistan.[2] He is a lso known as prominent politican of Ratodero. He was a...

It looks like you're also adding and/or adding back some text:
 * he was very close associate and adviser to Former Prime Minister of Pakistan Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto Shaheed election consistency he was former president of Pakistan People Party Ratodero remain 8 years on the Presidency [3] and at the same time he is Senior lawyer of Larkana presently pleads before the Courts of Sessions and High Court of province, he is also senior member of All Pakistan Lawyers & Civil Society Coordination Committee [4]

Some of this is very hard to understand. I'm not sure where each thought or sentence ends. I'm also not sure that all of that was in the source information. For instance: "very close associate and adviser".

I bet, though, if we work together we can get something worked out that:
 * has the meaning that you intend
 * is covered by the cited sources
 * is better edited

How does that sound?-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 10:30, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Dear Carole Henson.

Thanks for your reply

I have made some contribution in Jalbani tribe section especially in Tribal leadership section which you created.

The information i have edited in regards with Khan Shaib Sardar Zia Ahmed Jalbani with references so As i have mentioned (he was former president of pakistan people party Rato Dero city remain in office 8 years when MRS Benazir Bhutto was Prime Minister Of Pakistan and Mr Khan Sb Sardar Zia Ahmed Jalbani was president of Prime Minister consistency so he looked after all the political matter of ppp chair person MRS Bhutto in Rato Dero city) this information is supported with the Dawn new article under reference no (3) further more he is active member of All pakkistan Lawyers & Civil Society Coordination Committee ALSO disclosed with the authentic reference from the website of APLCSCC. i would be grateful if you can accept all the edits in in have made since i started make contribution in the History of Jalbani TRIBE specially in Regards with (Khan sb Sardar Zia Ahmed Jalbani) information. It my pleasure to work with you share and contribute in editing in Jalbani tribe page feel free to contact me. Regards & Thanks Dero Rato Dero Khan Jalbani
 * Great! I see the edits were reverted, so how about if we take a sentence at at time?
 * I had minor changes to the first sentence. How does that look to you?-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 16:37, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Sentence by sentence
Thanks...for your feed back!!

yah.. i think that also fine if you take a sentence at time!!! the extra information i have mentioned above we can use it as new sentence to continue from the last sentence about Mr. Khan sb Sardar Zia Ahmed Jalbani that would look fine too what do you think about this idea? !!!
 * Sounds good! I'm not quite sure exactly what you mean. Would you like to work on the second sentence and then I can adjust if needed?-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 17:52, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Thanks...Now i think its prefect the one you have edit!!

but i want to add more relevant information in this section so kindly check this if its required some change you can make corrections.

[He was former president and active member of pakistan people party Rato Dero Larkana District from 1988 to 1995.,He represented Pakistan Peoples Parties and looked after all the political matters of PPP workers in the Rato Dero Taluka District Larkana. More over Mr. Khan Sb Sardar Zia Ahmed Jalbani is a member and Chief Organizer of All pakistan Lawyers & Civil Society Coordination Committee forum in Larkana District body. Chief Organizer of APLCSCC ]

if above paragraph is prefect then kindly add this information in this section of Jalbani page ..all the information i have mention is supported with the references ...thanks

Ok, update:
 * I added the information in the brackets in the article.
 * For the first sentence: "represents and protects the interests of Jalbani tribe members" - you don't need to mention the tribe or Jalbani twice. When there are two verbs, like "represents" and "protects" then "the interests of Jalbana tribe members" applies to both terms.
 * For the second sentence "I changed "Rato Dero Larkana District" to "of Ratodero, Larkana District" -- which means I added "of" and spelled Ratodero as it's spelled in the article of that name.

If those changes work, I could maybe look at the next 2 at one time.-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 21:05, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

...moving ahead
 * For the third sentence, I just rolled it in with the previous sentence so we didn't need to repeat the same information... and just got down to what his responsibilities were: "during which time he represented the organisation and managed political matters of PPP workers."
 * For the fourth sentence, I capitalised "Pakistan" - the name of a country should be in caps in English and removed "body". The District is already an entity - so adding body is kind of like saying it twice, it's not needed and is a bit confusing.
 * Fifth, just capitalised "he" (first word in a sentence is capitalised) + added "and" between presently and pleads. The "and" separates two phrases within the sentence. Then, added a period at the end of the sentence.
 * Sixth, just changed "above and all" to "Above all," - and "safeguard and protect" to "safeguards and protects" (plural verb) + a few edits already explained.
 * I hope this looks good to you!-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 22:11, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

Jalbani
Thanks so much for your recent edit to Jalbani. I had no idea how much of that was true or not... and I got side-tracked before I could look at it more closely and tag it for -- CaroleHenson   ( talk ) 03:08, 19 January 2014 (UTC)


 * Thanks..yes the Tribal section of the page looks prefect!!! thanks for the contribution in the Jalbani Tribe History!! I would like to inform you that some one made the changes in Tribal leadership section they edited the information regarding the Chief of the Tribe Ali Nawaz Khan Jalbani as challenging his authority as tribe Chief and claiming some else as tribe chief which is without reference and citations, further there is nothing on record  as such person Haji Usman Jalbani to be as Chief, which clearly effect the authenticity of the page. we are working here to try to give more reliable information and in site about Jalbani tribe.


 * I think it shouldn't be good to quote and highlight the negative and controversial history about the Jalbani tribe. Moreover the information of Mr Ali Nawaz Jalbani as chief and khan sb Mr. Zia Ahmed Jalbani as head and leading figure of the tribe seems to be much stronger claim as the Both of there citation and references quote from the Pakistan English National new paper (Dawn) where they mention Ali Nawaz Jalbani as (Tribal chief).


 * similarly Khan sb Zia Ahmed Jalbani As head and leading figure of the tribe and Prominent personality of the Ratodero Larkana Disrtict in (Dawn News references).


 * So on these bases i have find out some one completely manipulate the contents of the Jalbani History page, hope you would be agree on the points i raised? on which bases i have made changes and revert back the page on the previous version.


 * I am looking further the background history of Jalbani tirbe to contribute the information in Jalbani Tribe History from the authentic and reliable sources, which can make the page more informative and stand authentic to give in site for the viewer regarding the tribe history.


 * Thanks & Regards


 * Hi yes, your reasoning makes sense to me! I wish I knew more about the subject, but based on what you're saying that's reasonable. The only point to consider is that there's an intention at wikipedia to make articles with a neutral point of view - which means that the various notable sides of a topic should be covered. I'm not sure what the controversy is... if someone was just digging to find something controversial, or not. If it's not notable, meaning it wouldn't get good or significant news coverage, then it usually would be best not to add it.


 * If there is something, though, that is controversial and does make the news in a big way, then as neutral contributors we should add it. I hope that makes sense. Good job watching out for the article and having a good intention to make it good!-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 04:29, 19 January 2014 (UTC)

Talkback
 CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 04:39, 19 January 2014 (UTC)