User talk:Deshalom/sandbox

Prostitution in Israel Article Evaluation
The article I chose to evaluate was the "Prostitution in Israel" article. Prior to reading this article, I knew that prostitution existed in Israel, as it does in every country, but I did not know that it has been legal almost as long as the country has existed. I had only ever heard stories of the area in South Tel Aviv, near the central bus station. One other thing I found interesting is that Tel Aviv has a history of being the center of the sex trade of the Middle East, something that I would never have guessed.

The tone of this article is neutral. It reports mostly the history of prostitution and does so without bias. However, it is obvious to the reader that this article is still in its beginning stages. While there are beginnings of a history of prostitution, for the most part, it only has one-sentence facts that do not fully explain the history of the topic. For example, there is a one sentence statement that discusses a debate that occurred in 2007, but it does not explain what actually happened. The economics section is a single sentence, and the politics section is merely a couple sentences and does not accurately portray a wide array of political views on the topic. Both of these need much more research and information added. This is confirmed by the quality scale, which places the article in the "start" class of mid-importance.

The citations in this article are a bit all over the place. While most of the links check out properly, they are perhaps not the best sources for information. For example, the first citation from the article, which states that prostitution is legal in Israel, comes from a BBC article on sex-trafficking. Although the two topics are pretty heavily related, I think that there is a better source for this information. Additionally, there is no proper citation for the politics section; there is a name and a date, but this does need to be fixed.

When looking at the talk page, as mentioned before, this article is ranked start, mid-importance in both Israel and Sex Works topics, and it is ranked start, low-importance in the sociology topic. The talk page also points out major issues within the article. There is a comment regarding the sex-trafficking section, which states that it does not exist in Israel, and the lack of quality sources by the original editor seems to validate that point. It is a common issue throughout the article. The sources are mostly limited to newspapers and online articles, which often do not have the best quality. Often times these types of publications contain a lot of bias. This can be an issue when non-factual reporting comes into play, but because of the stage of development of this article, it is not currently that big of an issue. Other discussions of improper and confusing wording can also be found on this page.

Deshalom (talk) 14:51, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

Article Selection: The People's Army Model of Israel
The content of this page is relevant, but it is very limited in its information. There needs to be more of a history of the topic as well as what the current state of the Israeli army looks like. For example, currently it seems as though the trend is away from this idea into a more divisive grouping than the traditional model that this page discusses. I think it will also be important to include the differences in service among genders and religion, because I feel like both of those might affect the "melting pot" ideal that this is trying to get across.

Deshalom (talk) 14:40, 30 September 2018 (UTC) I proposed a new section for the page, under the talk page of the People's Army page.

There has recently been a change in the divisions of the IDF, which has led away from the idea that this model serves as a melting pot among different groups in Israel. The changes proposed would alter the tracks of those who enlist with the goal of becoming a professional in their chosen area of service. This would distinguish them from the rest of young soldiers that enlist only as an act of national obligation; it targets "talented" individuals who will most likely want to continue their service after the required period is over.

There is also debate within the country on the definition of the term "People's Army," because this would suggest that everyones serves with the same end-goal. However, there is a modern day divide among those serving to ensure that Israel maintains its status as a military powerhouse and others who serve because it maintains a sense of Zionism. Deshalom (talk) 19:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Drafting Contributions to the People's Army Page
For my contribution to the page, I would like to change the structure of it to begin. Currently, the page is just a single, long paragraph that slumps all of the information together. I would like to create sections called "Historical purpose of the Model" as well as a "Movement Away From the Model."

The points of discussion in my expansion/redesignation of the first part would include discussing the historical melting pot model in terms of bridging the socioeconomic/racial gap. Also, I would include information about the current push to change the model.

Outline/Plan

1. Background information: A. Define the Model i. David Ben Gurion's idea of a standing army that brought together peoples through service/reserves A. Melting pot idea that brings together peoples of different racial/SES backgrounds B. Builder of national identity after the State's establishment C. Idea that the Army is by the people, for the people i. soldiers go home often/ available to interact with society a lot of the time ii. after training --> informal setting makes it more culturally welcomes D. Idea that the peoples army model is the best functioning government institution. apolitical, strong force 2. Movement Away from the Model: A. fewer "large" wars --> don't need as many people in service i. reserves are not compulsory anymore ii. fewer career paths available B. More distinctions based off of education i. tie in SES distinction in availability of this plan among the classes Deshalom (talk) 17:30, 11 October 2018 (UTC)


 * do more research on sites given on the Hebrew page/this page, because they do not link to anything* — Preceding unsigned comment added by Deshalom (talk • contribs) 17:34, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

Response to Peer Review (Draft After Comments)
Background Information

The model is based off of David Ben Gurion’s belief that the universality that would derive from this “melting pot” ideal would help create cohesion among members of society, regardless of their backgrounds. This would serve as both a builder of national identity after the establishment of the state, bringing together people of different socioeconomic backgrounds and racial identities.

There is also the idea that the Army is by the people, for the people. The IDF allow soldiers to go home often and also allows regular communication with the “outside world.” After an initial training period, the formality commonly associated with military service dissipates, which serves as a tool to promote this ideal.

One of the initial goals of the People's Army Model is to serve as an apolitical, strong force; in theory, it is the best functioning government institution.

Movement Away from the Model:

With fewer large wars, fewer people are needed to serve at any given time. Additionally, reserves are no longer compulsory anymore. There are also fewer and more divisive career paths emerging with the modernization of the army.

The melting pot ideal that served as the basis for the model has also begun to dissipate as a strong tie with socioeconomic status and racial identity serves as a mediating factor in army service. Availability of training courses towards certain more elite brigades has affected the authenticity of the “for the people” element of the army.

There is also debate within the country on the definition of the term "People's Army," because this would suggest that everyones serves with the same end-goal. However, there is a modern day divide among those serving to ensure that Israel maintains its status as a military powerhouse and others who serve because it maintains a sense of Zionism.

Service Exemptions: Further information: Exemption from military service in Israel

Those exempt from service also affect the demographics of those who serve in the army. Most of these executions are for either medical or religious reasonings and do shift the ability of the Army to be an accurate representation of the people. Deshalom (talk) 21:24, 14 November 2018 (UTC)