User talk:Dgirmay0634/sandbox

Hi! It was helpful that you started off your draft with all of the information you plan on changing and why you will change it. Your article draft in itself is really good! You provide good structure and content, and made it easy to understand what it was you were discussing. One suggestion I have is to internally site your information, to do this make sure you insert your citations after using information from that source (it will show up in number form once the citation is inserted) that way we know where each piece of information is coming from. I don't have any other suggestions for you other then small edits to wording of some of your sentences. Otherwise your article is great, I like how much content you provide, and the references to back it up. Tbmcintosh (talk) 19:08, 15 November 2016 (UTC) Thanks for the feedback Tiffanie, I will insert the citations (or footnotes) into the sentences and fix any grammatical error I found. I will try to transition my sentences more smoothly as well. --Dgirmay0634 (talk) 00:08, 23 November 2016 (UTC)

Your article is very clear and includes all the pertinent information. The draft is excellent and covers all the basis. The only change I would include would be to internally cite your information instead of just including references at the end. The article otherwise is extremely informative and is not biased and provides the reader with information they need for the article topic. Mmericle27 (talk) 19:15, 15 November 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback Megan, I will internally cite my resources into the article. --Dgirmay0634 (talk) 00:08, 23 November 2016 (UTC)

Peer Edit
Wow, your article looks phenomenal! It has a plethora of organized information on your topic, as the structure is impressive as well. Your sources look reliable and unbiased in content, as I would only suggest adding in a few more in-text citations to be cautious. Other than that, great job. Leeza.decheubel (talk) 20:26, 15 November 2016 (UTC)Leeza

Thanks for the feedback Leeza, when I make my corrections I will remember to include in-text citations. --Dgirmay0634 (talk) 00:08, 23 November 2016 (UTC)

Draft Feedback
Dogol, you have chosen a good article to review in that it is currently very rudimentary, which gives you a lot of latitude in terms of what to add to this article. I like the sections that you have chosen, and the links that you inserted into your article are great at directing the reader to other relevant Wikipedia sites. It is obvious that you have done a lot of research on your topic, both externally and in Wikipedia.

One question I had after reading your article addition is: What is the difference between Ecosystem Approach, Ecosystem-based Management, and Ecosystem Management. It almost sounds like the EA is a general approach, whereas the EBM and EM are more specific management strategies. You do distinguish between these topics in your first section. However, a bit more clarity here would be great, and this information could perhaps be added to the Leader section of this article. Also, contrasting an ecosystem conservation approach with a species conservation approach may be helpful in terms of further clarifying this definition.

The second broad suggestion I would give you to is to continue to work to make your writing more concise. What is the main thing you want to emphasize with each section, and how can you most concisely communicate that?

Third, I am curious about the Fisheries section you chose, given that there is currently a link to a Fisheries Management article within the article page. Is your goal here to use this topic as an example of an ecosystem approach, without delving into management topics? If so, I wonder if this section might be better placed at the end of the article; and if perhaps there may be a way to more strongly emphasize this focus. And, I do like your conceptual focus in this section.

Last, I agree with others on reference citing. Rhirshorn (talk) 18:20, 20 November 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback Mrs. Hirshorn, I will work on distinguishing between EA, EBA, and EM. Give more examples and use of the three types. I might create a new section dedicated to that question. I will also work on creating and reconstructing the paragraphs to have a purpose for each section. As for your third question I used Fisheries as an example of EA, nothing more. If the reader wanted to get more information than they can go to the link I provided; however, I will place the Fisheries section towards the end of the article (and add additional information if needed). --Dgirmay0634 (talk) 00:08, 23 November 2016 (UTC)