User talk:Djburelison/Asfandyar Khan "Asfandyar Abid Naveed"

MasterValdi review
MasterValdi- You have a lot of good information. Nothing seems to be missing. The information is clear so that i can tell who he was, how he died,and how he was important. Seems like something on your references are not right, i could be wrong lol. But over all good job. :)

Zwm90 review
All of your info seemed pretty sufficient. I would try and add a bit more on the Impact and Personal because it seems kind of light. You should also remove the references at the end of each section. Also try and create some links to other pages, for example, In you Death section you have the word Pakistan. Just simply placing two brackets around a word like Pakistan and it will create a link to Pakistan's wiki page. You should try and correct a lot of the grammar in your sections like using commas because many are missing. Try and think about the tone of your article. It was written with a bias voice and it didn't seem like an encyclopedia and strictly informational. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.179.140.4 (talk) 03:24, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Review
Asfandyar Abid Naveed and Shafiullah Khan will most likely be combined into a single entry as they represent the dangers that suicide bombings pose for journalists, the renewed calls of Pakistani journalists for more attention on security for journalists. By the way, another journalist had previously been killed at this same market in an earlier attack.Crtew (talk)


 * Changing the REF tags to REF NAME="name" / actually corrects the problem noted by your peer above, but you should use inline citations.Crtew (talk) 21:01, 22 October 2011 (UTC)


 * This is a situation in which you want to search in Lexis-Nexis and under foreign news sources and then use translate. Crtew (talk) 21:03, 22 October 2011 (UTC)


 * In the entry, I made a number of textual edits that should guide you in making writing.Crtew (talk) 21:34, 22 October 2011 (UTC)