User talk:Dmcgrego

Definition: Negative Love

Negative love refers to a situation in which an individual ‘gives out’ love to another. A deficit of love is maintained until the time at which the ‘love’ is reciprocated. Alternately one may receive ‘positive love’. This is a situation in which they receive love, without having initiated the love exchanges.

The giving of love is any form of contact. This may be electronic but must be tangible (ie. none of that telepathic, ‘I was thinking of you’ crap). It must be able to be shown to a supporting friend so that at the time of receipt of love you can claim that you ‘totally got love’. Each form of love holds different weights as a function of effort and instantaneous exchange.. For example, the ranking goes something like this most love to least love: 1.	visit (if was visiting from interstate or O/S effort is high and therefore love is high) 2.	phone call 3.	text message 4.	email 5.	myspace private message (emails are generally longer) 6.	myspace wall post (this may result from motivations other than to give you love) 7.	facebook message (easier and quicker than myspace, plus I have myspace positive love but am in a facebook deficit therefore choose myspace love as counting for more) 8.	wave from across the street NB the above ranking assumes a technologically competent individual with immediate access to all aforementioned technologies. Unexpected events and extenuating circumstances such as loss of phone, or bet for a bottle of tequila restricting access to MySpace must be taken into account when assessing love magnitude.

Love may come from a number of different sources in order for the love to net off. Like love type, each source is weighted so that the magnitude of love associated with each differs generally as a function of the extent to which love from that source is unconditional.

Family – generally this is unconditional love and therefore is a fairly minor event – you know they love you even if you don’t get reciprocation. Friends – better than family but still not great. That is assuming that you don’t have a secret crush on your friend. In which case you may mistake the magnitude of your love…they’re probably just giving you love as a friend, not as more…sorry. Person of the opposite sex (or same, depending on for which team you bat) whom you want to marry and have babies with – this is the greatest kind of love of all. Total random – depends if they’re a total freak or not. If they’re a total freak you probably don’t want them stalking you…but still flattering. If they’re a total slut that doesn’t count – they’re love is spread too thin. If they’re just a nice guy wanting to throw a compliment your way awesome…means you’re hot. Boyfriend – again not that exciting as is expected…that’s what they’re there for. You get the picture…

The amount of negative and positive love in a person’s life nets out to determine their level of wellbeing.

Special Rules: A mango always gives enough love to put you back into positives, no matter how far gone you are into deficit. If you can’t turn to food what can you turn to. If it’s winter and there’s no mangoes…sucks to be you.

If you’re feeling very unloved, restrict your access to checking your love. This way your love will build up without you reciprocating and therefore you will be far into positive. If when you eventually do check your love levels you don’t have anything, and there are no extenuating circumstances…maybe you should get off Wikipedia and start making friends. Even a mango won’t save you.

Disclaimer: I am in the middle of SWOTVAC therefore bored out of my mind, in a serious love deficit and still writing a shit boring essay at about 3 am on 1.5L of skulled coke…don’t judge me.

how your negative love theory changed my life
Hi Dmcgrego,

my name is karin and reading ur theory of negative love made me see the world differently. i am now in positive love oversupply by following the directions in your new book "how to put absolute value brackets around your love life", and have lost 10 kg on your all love - all mango diet. I now realise that giving out love is a waste of time, and i should focus on taking as much of it as possible.

xo Karin