User talk:Dr. Leigh Kibby

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Dr. Leigh Kibby Kinematic Pty Ltd 37 Bostock Avenue Manifold Heights VIC 3218 tel : + 61 3 5222 7578 mobile : 0455 259 637 email : leigh@kinematic.com.au or lkibby@bigpond.net.au http://www.kinematic.com.au

Abstract Emotion(s) Triggering Events (ETE) theory states that ETE events are associated with a need to express and share the emotion (e), cognitive confusion (c²) and existential angst which is characterised as uncertainty with respect to meaning (m). Hence, it can be said that the search for meaning is a fundamental need associated with ETEs. This chapter proposes that emotions (e) associated with ETEs can be translated into meaning by responding to dealing the emotion (e) and cognitive confusion (c²). Hence the formula ec² = m.

But how can this happen?

ETEs stimulate the need to express and share the emotion associated with the ETE. This need to share presents an opportunity for a listener to engage with the person who has experienced the ETE. One context for such an engagement is psychotherapy. However, not all ETEs would require psychotherapy so another medium for responding would be useful. Coaching is a modern phenomenon for helping people manage their lives and deal with ETEs. As such, coaching can be used as an opportunity for responding to emotions in such a way that existential angst is resolved through the formation of meaning. But, what must coaches do when responding to ETEs? This chapter proposes skills coaches can use to facilitate the formation of meaning when responding to emotion(s) expressed by clients. The coaching techniques described in this chapter are based on humanistic psychology modified in light of ETE theory. The techniques are presented in the form of a codified methodology that can be used in coaching. ec²=m: Coaching Skills that translate emotions and cognitive confusion into meaning

Introduction To live without meaning is to suffer angst and the search for meaning to resolve this angst is essential to fulfillment (Frankl, 1955, 1963, 1969 & 1973). As indicated by Wong and Bulloch (2008), meaning is a fundamental element of human existence. Ryff, C. D. and B. Singer (1998) and Steger (2008) point out that meaning is also pivotal in well-being and happiness. Likewise, Park and Slattery (2008), consider how people use meaning to help them understand and navigate their lives even in challenging personal circumstances. Hence, meaning is an intrinsic component of human existence. However, as discussed by Klinger (1998), human experience is also governed by emotions and cognition and dealing with both of these as a facet of the search for meaning is the focus of this chapter. The importance of Emotions Emotions provide key opportunities for engagement and interaction because human beings have a need to share emotions. Christophe & Rimé (1997) found that emotional episodes are not kept confidential with 66% of participants acknowledging that they had talked about the episode to one or more persons. This disclosure, or sharing, refers to situations in which the person who experiences an ETE talks about that ETE (Rimé & Zech, 2001). The purpose of such sharing was to enable comprehension of the ETE (Rimé, Finkenauer, Luminet, Zech, & Philippot, 1998) and to assist with managing the psychological state associated with the ETE (Zech, 2000 as cited in Rimé & Zech, 2001).

Based on the large body of research into ETEs, benefits can be derived from sharing and cognitively processing emotions and associated ETEs ( see Luminet, Bouts, Delie, Manstead & Rimé, 2000; Pennebaker, 1997; Pennebaker, Kiecolt-Glaser & Glaser, 1988; Pennebaker, Zeck & Rimé, 2001; Rimé, Finkenauer, Luminet, Zech & Philippot, 1998). This contention is well supported by the work of Tedeschi and Calhoun (2008). So, we also know that restructuring, or recreating, meaning is essential to well-being and the management personal responses to ETEs. Thus dealing with ETEs must inevitably involve meaning. The question then becomeshow? Clearly, any situation in which someone is expressing an emotion in response to an ETE is an opportunity to facilitate the creation of meaning. This chapter proposes that coaching is one such situation.

Why Coaching? Why is coaching a tool for creating meaning from ETEs?

Coaching involves the ability to respond to affect Ledgerwood (2003) and enable cognitive processing (Libri & Kemp 2006). Additionally, a coaching process (see Webb 2006) can enable and foster self-reflection (see Kilburg 2000, Jackson 2003) and build a sense of identity and meaning (Lenhardt 2004). In fact, coaching can function with an internal “actualizing” tendency (Burke and Linley 2007), a view well supported in coaching circles (see Bachirova, 2004).

The connection between coaching and emotions and personal development through self-reflection is well established (see Grant & Cavanagh 2004). Coaching also has a strong connection to values (Abbott & Rosinski 2007; Zeus & Skiffington 2000) and values are closely linked to the search for meaning and purpose as proposed by humanistic psychology (see Harding 2006).

In summary then, coaching can be the opportunity for responding to those who are sharing emotions in response to their ETEs. If coaching adopts the appropriate approach, the essential need to share can be fulfilled, cognitive processing can take place and then meaning formed i.e. coaching can enact the ec²=m medium.

Having a medium for facilitating ec²=m is simply an opportunity. The key is to have the techniques. Therefore, in this chapter I propose that response techniques previously discussed (see Kibby & Hartel 2002, 2003 a&b; 2004 a&b and Kibby 2006 & 2007) are appropriate for coaches when responding to someone sharing an ETE.

In pursuing this proposition, I examine a theory of ETE and the need to share. I also explore how sharing, through language, enables an interaction between affect and cognition that assists the formation of meaning. I then examine humanistic techniques that enable this process and from these propose specific behaviours for coaches. Therefore, this chapter proposes techniques that are consistent with: •	the psychology of ETEs and •	humanistic psychology.

Emotions Triggering Events (ETEs) Theory As stated earlier, an ETE drives a desire to seek others (Schachter, 1959) for the purpose of sharing (Rimé, Mesquita, Philippot & Boca, 1991a; Rimé, Noël & Philippot, 1991b; Rimé, Philipott, Boca & Mesquita, 1992; Rimé & Zech, 2001). This is true for various cultural groups (Rimé & Zech, 2001). The purpose of this drive is to and make meaning (Rimé et al., 1998). This relationship between the ETE and need to share is depicted in Figure 1. Figure 1: Emotion triggering even, the need to share and making meaning.

Whilst emotions are important (see Pennebaker & Beall 1986), Luminet et al. (2000), Martin & Tesser (1989) and Rimé (1999) indicate that cognitive processing for reappraisal is also a crucial component in the emotions sharing process. Therefore, the ETE model needs to be amended to include this cognitive processing component. This modified model of emotions, sharing and cognitive activity is depicted in Figure 2. Figure 2: Emotion triggering event, the need to share, cognitive processing and making meaning.

Although sharing emotions is not iniversally beneficial (Bonanno, Keltner, Holen & Horowitz, 1995; Bonanno, Notarius, Gunzerath, Keltner & Horowitz, 1998), sharing achieves the best benefit to individuals when it facilitates cognitive processing and goal reappraisal for the creation of meaning (Luminet et al., 2000; Pennebaker et al., 2003; Rimé, 1999; Rimé & Zech, 2001). Therefore, it can be concluded that the three key elements essential to attaining beneficial outcomes from sharing the emotions associated with ETEs are: 1.	enabling the need to share through emotion(s) expression 2.	utilizing this expression to facilitate cognitive reappraisal and 3.	ensure these two activities facilitate the formation of meaning. Figure 2 portrays the position of emotion(s) expression and cognition and that both interact, yet the model does not fully depict the medium associated with emotions nor the beneficial outcomes that can evolve from sharing emotions (Pennebaker, 1997; Pennebaker & Beall, 1986; Pennebaker et al., 1988; Rimè, 1999).

Language, being the tool for communication and interaction, is therefore the medium for sharing and facilitating cognitive reappraisal in order to make meaning (Luminet at al., 2000; Pennebaker, Zech & Rimé, 2003; Rimé, 1999; Rimé & Zech, 2001). In fact language alone enables the ability to think about complex issues (see Kibby & Hartel 2002).

These claims about the role of language are well supported by research of Luminet et al. (2000), Rimé et al. (1991a & b), Rimé & Zech, (2001), Finkenauer & Rimé (1998), Pennebaker, at al (1988), Pennebaker, (1989 and 1997) and  Pennebaker, et al (2003). We can therefore modify figure 2 to include the role of language. Figure 3 is a modification of Figure 2 to include the role of language in the model. Figure 3: Emotion triggering event, the need to share, cognitive activity, making meaning and the facilitative role of language.

The field of psychotherapy (refer to Kelly 1997) provides a strong case for this model. Also, Greenberg et al. (1993, p.9) concluded, “In our view, it was changes in the client’s cognitive/affective processing [yielding changes in emotional meaning] that ultimately led to therapeutic change.” Likewise, the conclusion accords with Ellis’s (2001, p.72) view of the limited value of empathic listening alone and Ellis’s (1973, 1977 & 1996) focus on cognitive reappraisal. Therefore, it is proposed that the need to share, when accompanied by a language interaction that provides for cognitive reappraisal and the formation of meaning.

Hence, the models discussed above indicate that coaches need to have the skill of responding to the need to share so that their responses facilitate the emotional cycle of development. To describe the skills for achieving this outcome, I now discuss humanistic psychology as a source of information about such techniques.

Humanistic Psychology as a Response to Emotion(s)

In this chapter it is proposed that humanistic psychology approaches provide an insight into a methodology for coaches that will respond to the sharing stimulated by ETEs. This premise regarding the relationship between coaching and humanistic psychology is well supported by discussion in the coaching arena (see Abbott and Rosinski, 2007).

Humanistic psychology is holistic (Child, 1973) and responds to emotional development (Patterson, 1973) through a process of cognitive (intellectual) reflection (Boud, Keogh & Walker, 1985). “Humanists are not as much concerned with a person’s observable, measurable behavior as they are with his feelings, attitudes, beliefs, purposes, and values – with those ‘inner behaviors’ that make an individual person distinctively and uniquely human” (Kolesnik, 1975, p.32). In particular, the approach of Rogers (1961, 1966 & 1969) was person centric and, arguably, holistic (Kirschenbaum, & Henderson, 1990).

Humanistic approaches facilitate the creation of meaning within experience (May, 1961 & 1983), this internal integration being a focus of humanists such as Assiogoli (1971 & 1973), Perls (1969a & 1969b) and Perls & Stevens (1971) and the subject of the therapy of Ellis (1973, 1977 & 1996), Frankl (1963) Frankl, Crumbaugh, Gerz & Maholick (1967) and Rogers (1961, 1966 & 1969).

Humanistic approaches can claim some efficacy (Kelly 1997), however Rimé (1999) and Rimé et al (1991, 1992, 1998) indicate that the existential angst and emotion(s) state are not resolved until meaning is formed. Hence, meaning is a crucial component of the emotions resolution process.

The humanistic psychologist Victor Frankl (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) utilized the connection between values and meaning in psychotherapeutic interventions. The importance that Frankl (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) placed on meaning formation through values accords with work on meaning in trauma (Tedeschi and Calhoun 2008, Frazier, Conlon, Tashiro & Sass, 2000), resilience and meaning (Taylor, 2000), coping and stress management (Halama, 2000), hope (Fratzke, 2000) and meaning-centered coaching (Wong, 2000 & 2002). Additionally, the establishment of values based action through dialogue accords with theories of emotional intelligence and the role of values (Blatner, 2000).

Rather than considering the work of all humanistic psychologists, this chapter focuses on the techniques of three humanistic psychologists, Rogers (1961, 1966 & 1969), Ellis (1973, 1977 & 1996) and Frankl (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) as these were the core humanistic psychologists whose ideas were utilized by myself since 1988 to develop the models presented in this chapter.

Rogers’ (1961, 1966 & 1969) person-centred therapy used empathic, non-judgmental listening, i.e. responding to the expression of emotion(s) is the corner stone of Rogerian approaches. Hence, person-centred empathic listening provides one element of the ETE response process. The two elements which remain to be addressed are cognitive reappraisal and the formation of meaning.

Ellis (1973, 1977 & 1996) acknowledged affect but concentrated on facilitating cognitive reappraisal. Frankl’s (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) paradigm and processes dealt with the creation of meaning through values. Hence, the approaches of Rogers (1961, 1966 & 1969), Ellis (1973, 1977 & 1996) and Frankl (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) each address a component of the ETE response paradigm.

Based on the preceding discussion, and by utilizing information from the above three humanistic psychologists, it can be concluded that sharing emotions through a language interaction is beneficial if it is conducted so that emotion(s) expression and cognitive reappraisal create meaning through values. Figure 5 depicts this notion Figure 4: The role of the need to share, language, emotion(s ) i.e. affect, cognition and values based action.

This model proposes that language that enables the sharing of emotions in the context of cognitive processing and values, will achieve a beneficial outcome and hence can be useful for coaching.

Is this meld of humanistic psychology and its application to coaching sound? Recent work suggests that it is.

Applying humanistic psychology approaches to coaching has recently become well supported in the coaching arena as evidenced by explorations of this nexus (see Abbott and Rosinski, 2007). In particular, this author’s approach of adopting and adapting approaches of Rogers (1961, 1966 & 1969), Ellis (1973, 1977 & 1996) and Frankl (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) which began almost 20 years ago, are now fully encompassed in coaching psychology. Linley & Harrington (2006) and Joseph (2006) examine the use of Rogerian/Person-centred approaches in coaching. Burke & Linley (2007) address Rogers’ (1964) “actualising tendency” (Burke & Linley, 2007, p63). Ellis’s Rational Emotive Therapy (1973, 1977 & 1996) has been used in coaching (see Palmer & Whybrow, 2006) and Kaufman (2006) establishes the importance or meaning and purpose which is the realm of Frankl (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992).

Hence, there is strong support for the approach described above and the premise that it can be applied to coaching. Yet, although adoption of the principles of humanistic psychology are now well supported, the question remains as to what specific techniques can coaches use in order to respond to emotions? What are those humanistic techniques? This chapter now proposes some options. Responses to Emotions that facilitate a consideration of Values As described in Kibby (2006 & 2007), I developed five coaching interaction techniques which I believe provide codified techniques/methodologies that coaches can use.

The predominant premise of these techniques is that they enable emotion(s) sharing by the client which can, through cognitive reappraisal, lead to action based on values (see Kibby 2006, 2007). In summary, these techniques have three phases: 1.	An affect focused stage that involves the expression and sharing of the feeling/emotions state, the emotion being linked to 2.	A cognitive phase where cognitive reappraisal takes place with regard to goals associated with the feelings, testing of beliefs and reappraisal of thoughts and perceptions which can lead to 3.	A values based action phase where goals, beliefs, perceptions and actions are be reviewed against values, hence creating meaning because, according to Maddi (1998), values based action and personal goals (see Kaiser, 1998) are associated with the formation of meaning. The following is a description of the interaction models named above. The five techniques are called the ERA, EBB, APT, ETA & EVA approaches. The words used in these approaches are listed below, the spaces indicating silence by a coach. •	Empathic-Reflective-Action Based (ERA) using the words “You feel.....because you want to....” •	Emotions, Belief, Behavior (EBB) using the words “You feel.....because you believe that....” •	Affect, Perception, Testing (APT) using the words “You feel.....because you perceive that....” •	Emotion, Thought, Action (ETA) using the words “You feel.....because you believe that you should...” •	Emotion, Values, Action (EVA) using the words “You feel.....because you value....” Figures 5 to 9 depict ERA and the additional four initial interaction techniques.

Figure 5: The ERA model depicting Emotions Expression Phase called Empathic, a Cognitive Reappraisal Phase called Reflective and a Values based Phase called Action Based Listening

Figure 6: The EBB model depicting Emotions Expression Phase called Empathic, a Cognitive Reappraisal Phase called Belief and a Values based Phase called Action Based Listening

Figure 7: The APT model depicting Emotions Expression Phase called Empathic, a Cognitive Reappraisal Phase called Perception and a Values based Phase called Action Based Listenin

Figure 8: The ETA model depicting the Emotions Expression Phase called Empathic, a Cognitive Reappraisal Phase called Thought and a Values based Phase called Action Based Listening

Figure 9: The EVA model depicting Emotions Expression Phase called Empathic, a Cognitive Reappraisal Phase called Values and a Values based Phase called Action Based Listening

As can be seen from the above models, each leads to a consideration of values, and values based actions, through differing cognitive reappraisal mechanisms. This movement to a consideration of values accords with Russell’s (2001) premise that values are the foundation for decision-making, Frankl’s (1955, 1963, 1969 & 1992) beliefs about values and meaning and the importance of action and goals in the meaning equation as discussed by Maddi (1998) and Kaiser (1998).

The techniques depicted above are also based on the Language-Emotion-Thought model (Kibby & Hartel 2002) that showed a profound relationship between affect, cognition and behaviour. Summary responding to Emotion(s) Triggering Events This chapter presents coaching techniques that fulfill the coaching imperatives proposed by Ledgerwood (2003) and Jackson (2003) and provide tools that coaches can use to ensure clients can form meaning from ETEs. They are Noetic (spiritual) skills (see Kibby and Hartel 2003a and 2004a) of the new millennium which provide the capacity to successfully respond to emotions in a way that will improve well-being through the formation of meaning.

References

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