User talk:Dulcetsprite

Understanding DulcetSprite
Dulcetsprite has gone through quite a bit in her 23 years of life. She was born at 28 weeks gestation. Barely lived. Almost died because of necrotizing enterocolitis (where the colon becomes irritated and dies due to feeding the premature baby too early in development. It's unavoidable though. A baby will die if not fed. And there is no way to tell which baby will develop it.

I developed Paranoid Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder at around age 12. It was left undiagnosed until I was almost 22 years old. Life during middle school and high school was terrible. I had few friends, and more enemies.

I was picked on more times than I could count. My weight was a huge issue. Weighing in at 265 pounds all throughout high school made life extremely difficult. Especially during gym class. Not to mention the constant evil and nagging voices in my head that told me I was no good. I was the worst person in the world. I should just kill myself. I was worthless. Everyone wanted me dead. Even my parents. They don't love me. Nobody loves me. Nobody will ever love me. It's no wonder I had anxiety issues.

Every corner I turned, I was sure someone was going to make fun of me. Every classroom I walked into I "saw" everyone staring at me with (grossed out) faces. Like I was the ugliest person in the universe. Like I was a side-show act. Eventually I started getting used to those issues and started ignoring them. I somehow figured out it was just my "anxiety"... So I just chucked it off and started trying to get on with my life.

All this time I was down on myself for not being able to connect with anybody. Especially the fact that I was NEVER going to be able to get a boyfriend. I wanted to be able to date. To actually have a boyfriend. I was devastated because I knew that I was too hideous to ever land a boyfriend. Especially one who would love me for me. Not just a pity date.

Then in 10th grade I met who at the time was the man of my dreams. It took some chasing. Haha. But he was definitely interested in me. Finally! A man interested in me!! Woohoo!! He was soooo cute! OMG! We started dating a week or so later. We went to MORP. A hawaiian themed dance (Prom spelled backwards, just a casual, fun dance.) We sat and talked most of the time. We were very shy. So very shy. It was so cute. Aww. Long story short, we were together for a month less than  2 years (offically). But on and off for quite a few years.

That's where the train stops. I refuse to remember what happens after that point until right now.

Right now I'm enjoying my "retired" life. Sitting back, surfin' the web, creating projects for me to do. Learning. Always learning.