User talk:Dylford17/sandbox

I would like to copyedit the following page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_Quidditch.

I believe there are common errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation and I would like to improve them.
 * Good work improving the article. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:38, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

I would like to add additional citations and resources to the following page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racing_flags.

Dylford17 (talk) 00:36, 9 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:38, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

Instead I would like to provide sources for the following page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_screening

1.) O'Brien, Mary E. R. "Lung Cancer Screening: Is There A Future?." Indian Journal Of Medical & Paediatric Oncology 35.4 (2014): 249-252. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.

2.) Osório, Flávia L., Manuela Polidoro Lima, and Marcos Hortes N. Chagas. "Assessment And Screening Of Panic Disorder In Cancer Patients: Performance Of The PHQ-PD." Journal Of Psychosomatic Research 78.1 (2015): 91-94. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.

3.) Ying, Chen, et al. "Breast Cancer Stromal Elastosis Is Associated With Mammography Screening Detection, Low Ki67 Expression And Favourable Prognosis In A Population-Based Study." Diagnostic Pathology 9.1 (2014): 116-133. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.

4.) Lixin, Tao, et al. "Prevalence And Risk Factors For Cervical Neoplasia: A Cervical Cancer Screening Program In Beijing." BMC Public Health 14.1 (2014): 1-18. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.

Dylford17 (talk) 10:58, 12 February 2015 (UTC)
 * I like your new topic, but be careful - it's a medical topic. Medical topics are especially sensitive (some people use WP to self-diagnose and self-treat illnesses), and WP has extra-stringent rules with regard to sources for medical articles. As far as I can tell, you sources look good, but you might want to get acquainted with WP policies on medical topics. See Wikipedia:Training/For_students/Medical_topics_1. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:46, 16 February 2015 (UTC)

I would like to create a lead for the following page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child%27s_Dream.

I will add more information to the lead considering it is only one short, brief sentence. I also think future editors should add more information (if it becomes available) to the mission section and the success stories section. This will make the charity seem more credible and reputable. I do not think the order should be changed because it allows the article to flow.

Dylford17 (talk) 02:39, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes, the lead should tell us something more specific about the organization's actions. Be careful to remain neutral - the article sometimes reads like promotional material. Also notice that the sources are improperly formatted - each source should only be listed once, with multiple citations. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:33, 24 February 2015 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry to say that another student has also chosen this article. Having multiple students work on the same article wouldn't work for this assignment. Since the other student chose it first, I have to ask you to find a different article. Sorry about the inconvenience. You don't need to post another analysis. Just choose an article and write a draft of the lead. Also, I'm happy to give you an extension on the project if necessary. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:48, 25 February 2015 (UTC)

I would like to create a lead for the following page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Job_fair

People seeking new employment often attend job fairs in which employers, recruiters, and schools give information about what their company or organization involves. Job seekers attend these while trying to make a good impression to potential coworkers by speaking face-to-face with one another, filling out résumés, and asking questions in attempt to get a good feel on the work needed. Likewise, online job fairs are held, giving job seekers another way to get in contact with probable employers using the internet.

Dylford17 (talk) 02:51, 4 March 2015 (UTC)
 * The first part of the "Definition" section in the article basically functions as a lead. You should combine the information from the beginning of that section with your own lead. The "Definition" section should then be replaced with a "College Job Fairs" section. Also, look carefully over your wording. Josef Horáček (talk) 12:08, 10 March 2015 (UTC)