User talk:Eah9/GailCastroDraft

Overall, I think the content informed well about the researched individual. The content was relevant to the topic.

After reading the paragraphs, the tone was neutral throughout. This is good since the article should be written and presented through an unbiased viewpoint.

One thing I noticed was there were no citations. I believe the citations need to be throughout each paragraph. Or minimum of 1 per paragraph. (The 2 do not need to be different sources every time). I think one of our weekly Wiki Trainings instructed to "cite as much as possible throughout an article."

For the intro paragraph, it has a nice lead in first sentence. However, I was thinking maybe break down the later paragraphs (those paragraphs under Career) by assigning them with more specific headings/subtitles. I know all the texts under this section/subtitle are about the individual's career path, but it would be helpful if these info are still broken down a bit (with more precise headings).

I think the "balanced content" aspect of your writing can be improved more. This can be done by giving more weight to/more discussion on more important points, and less weight to less important info. But this is of course just an opinion.

Adding 1 or 2 images would definitely help the visual aspect.

Bing123456 (talk) 06:57, 6 April 2021 (UTC) Bing123456 (talk) 06:57, 6 April 2021 (UTC) Bing123456 (talk) 06:57, 6 April 2021 (UTC) Bing

Overall, I think the content informed well about the researched individual. The content was relevant to the topic.

After reading the paragraphs, the tone was neutral throughout. This is good since the article should be written and presented through an unbiased viewpoint.

One thing I noticed was there were no citations. I believe the citations need to be throughout each paragraph. Or minimum of 1 per paragraph. (The 2 do not need to be different sources every time). I think one of our weekly Wiki Trainings instructed to "cite as much as possible throughout an article."

For the intro paragraph, it has a nice lead in first sentence. However, I was thinking maybe break down the later paragraphs (those paragraphs under Career) by assigning them with more specific headings/subtitles. I know all the texts under this section/subtitle are about the individual's career path, but it would be helpful if these info are still broken down a bit (with more precise headings).

I think the "balanced content" aspect of your writing can be improved more. This can be done by giving more weight to/more discussion on more important points, and less weight to less important info. But this is of course just an opinion.

Adding 1 or 2 images would definitely help the visual aspect.

Bing123456 (talk) 06:57, 6 April 2021 (UTC) Bing123456 (talk) 06:57, 6 April 2021 (UTC) Bing123456 (talk) 06:57, 6 April 2021 (UTC) Bing