User talk:Ecs222/sandbox

Great work improving this page! I see that the published page on Young is more advanced than the one in the sandbox, so I'm going to refer to that one primarily. I really like the tone so far, as it is neutral but also very readable. I appreciate the number of links embedded to other wiki pages (for organizations, people, publications). You've done a good job supporting facts with citations, and all citation links led to the intended source. Because we're trying to highlight suffrage, perhaps the "life and work" section could be broken out into two parts - perhaps "background and early work" and "suffrage work" (which would address your sandbox question as to whether or not to have a political work/suffrage section). I know it's hard to find information on many of these women, but it seems interesting to me that she's involved in the publications, but you've not indicated if she's also been involved in marches or other forms of suffrage activism, or what drew her to the cause. If this information is available, it'd be an interesting addition to the page.

Some editorial suggestions: 1. I think NAWSA is "woman" suffrage, not "women" (line three of the intro and line three of "life and work"). This is an odd thing, as among organizations and within publications the movement is referred to as woman suffrage, women's suffrage, and woman's suffrage and it's hard to keep them all straight. 2. In the first line of paragraph two under Life and Work, perhaps use the name rather than "that organization" as it wasn't clear to me if you were referring to NAWAS or LBSE. 3. In the "published works" I think the links to Harper's Bazaar for the short stories are incorrect - I think these should be Harper's Magazine which is a different publication that's referenced under Further Reading.ProfBE (talk) 18:37, 26 November 2018 (UTC)Betsy

Lindsey's peer review Peer Review

Thanks for your writing here. I'm also going to refer to the main page.

Lead

It seems like there are a ton of citations in the lead. typically it seems that information here is duplicated below in many wikipedia pages, so maybe you could do this and move the citations further down. The density of citations make this difficult to read.

Structure

Do you have a lot more information to include in the early personal life? Otherwise this seems like maybe it doesn't need to be separated out?

Neutrality

The article maintains a neutral tone throughout.

Editing You might change 10,0000 to 20,000,000 to ten to twenty million for better readability.

Great start! Lwieck (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2018 (UTC)lwieck