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HOW TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE IS CELEBRATED IN OROKAM

Orokam is in Ogbadibo LGA of Benue State, Middle Belt of Nigeria. Orokam people are made up five major clans, Ai-Inam, Ai-Oko, Ai-Ona, Ai-Agbo Oriko and Ai-Akor, which in turn comprises of kindreds each, and family lineages. The major occupation of the people of Orokam is farming, trading and civil service. Major religion as at present is Christianity with the Methodist Church Nigeria and Catholic Church as dominant Christian denominations while a very few African Religion Practitioners and spot of Muslim Fulani nomads are present.

Traditional Marriage blended with Christian influence is most common with a few Church weddings for those who can afford it. One is under obligation to fulfill the traditional rites before Church wedding or marriage by ordinance/court wedding if need be.

The traditional marriage in Orokam has three stages: 1.	Enme oce tabo, which is the first step if the suitor had sought the consent of his parents for a girl he intends, is breaking of cola nut between the immediate families to declare their intention. The family of the suitor will present some native cola nuts accompanied with a keg of palm wine or a crate of soft drink or beer with some money, which may be less than N500. This takes place with the immediate family members. Once this is done, it means that a girl is now betrothed to a man and no other suitor goes there anymore. A deposit may be paid in lieu of bride price. 2.	Ikpe ooda, which is an occasion for asking the intended bride whether she accepts the intention of the suitor. This involves a few more extended family members as witnesses. More native cola nuts and kegs of palm wine or crates of soft drinks/beer may be involved, yet moderately. Some amount of money may be involved. Usually, it is on the day of ikpe ooda that the date for traditional marriage rite is fixed, and amount of money for entertainment is kept with the family of the intending bride. 3.	Eci ofu ago eje or echi onya oole. This is the day of the marriage ceremony. The process can prolong for two days. The first aspect of it is the settling of bride price and it involves investigation into the procedure and checking how things are being done, sighting of instances and comparing of different ranges of cola nuts and money, which usually is a small amount meant for categories of relatives and family members. It involves a lot of fun, insults, arguments and quarrel, disagreements and agreements, which are time-consuming. The belief is that giving out of a daughter is not as easy as selling a goat or an animal. So settling issues around the marriage is a long and tasking exercise. Sometimes, it looks as if the marriage will not hold. However, at the end of it all, they will always come to agreement on the dowry and other matters. One remarkable feature is that the marriage proceeding is not permitted to be written down because they want to maintain the traditional method of negotiation. It has been suggested that the process be documented to make it faster but the people are adamant because it will make them lose the glamour and essence of tradition.

Once the dowry is settled, the ceremony of ofu ago eje or eje o gwa, which is actually the entertainment begins. This is the second part of the marriage ceremony. This is when immediate and extended family members, friends, well wishers and invited guests are all seated. Two seats will be provided for the bride and groom. The groom will be dressed in native clothes. Then the bride will be dressed in her native costumes beautifully and accompanied by her lady friends who go round and greet in-laws and guests. Thereafter the exchange of pleasantries and greetings, her father would invite her and show her what have been done with regard to marriage. Palm wine will be poured into a calabash cup ago or glass cup as in modern time and given to her to give her husband to drink while kneeling down if she truly agrees to the marriage. When this is done there will be jubilation and shouts of oga yoo, which means a great thing has happened. Then she can now seat with her husband.

Food and drinks, music and dance, ace ooce, i.e. encomium and gifts will be presented to the couple. Prayer is said to God for blessing of children, good health, long life and material blessings and general well being of the new family, and the man and wife are ushered to their own hut or where ever they live.

Written by

Bishop Edoka Amuta BA (Hons), Ibadan; MA Birmingham Adum-Oko Orokam Ogbadibo LGA Benue State Nigeria 06 November, 2013