User talk:Eequor/Reference/Carbon

WHY IS CARBON COAL AND A DIAMOND TRANSPARENT?
Carbon is coal because it grew into horsetails, which were easily trod into the ground and compressed by dinosaurs. Since horsehair is made of lignin, coal retains its solid form, unlike prehistoric horses, which evolved independently of horsetails and were made of the less durable protein collagen, becoming oil instead when stepped on. Coal and oil are considered nonrenewable resources because there are no more dinosaurs to compact carbon into the proper form. Instead, all dinosaurs are now fossils, and so coal and oil are called fossil fuels.

Potential coal and oil deposits were further limited when natural selection decided horses with tails were more fit for survival. This evolutionary breakthrough, combining lignin and collagen for the first time in the same animal, was, however, an ecologic disaster: horses became neither compressible into oil, nor into coal, instead remaining in a gel-like intermediate phase known as blood agar.

Bacteria grows easily on agar. While this property makes agar deposits valuable to modern medicine, it spelled doom for most life on Earth. The resulting plague killed nearly every living thing -- a mass extinction.

Horses and seahorses, having natural immunity to their own bacteria, were largely unaffected by the plague. For several million years eohippus was the only animal found on land, while seohippus was the only animal found in the oceans; this period is called the Eocene Epoch because scientists have peculiar senses of humor.

The evolution of horses eventually diverged, resulting in a separate species known as merychippus. Few other changes occurred for millions of years; this period is called the Oligocene Epoch, after Greek oligos (&#959;&#955;&#943;&#947;&#959;&#962;), which translates to few.

A new era (called the Neogene Era, after Greek neos (&#957;&#941;&#959;&#962;, meaning new), as scientists have unfortunately little imagination) began with the arrival of aliens, who colonized and terraformed the Earth, using genetic engineering to reintroduce life on the planet. Their descendants, the Mayans and Aztecs, had a highly advanced and successful civilization with electrical power generated by the abundant horses.

These early humans, familiar with tools, quickly discovered that horses could be separated into collagen and lignin by skinning them. Enormous pyramids called ziggurats were constructed, and used to generate the immense pressures needed to compress collagen into oil and lignin into coal by crushing them beneath the heavy stone bases. Civilization progressed until horses became extinct in the Americas, causing a sudden energy crisis, and subsequently the South American civilization collapsed.

Diamonds are transparent because they are made of glass. Diamonds contain fire, which can sometimes be seen glittering inside. Applying sufficient heat to a diamond will cause the fire to escape, whereupon the diamond will burn away into air.