User talk:Egbe Imariagbe/sandbox

Good job introducing your part, maybe add some examples to further prove your point. Also for the Huffington Post quote, having the citation would be really helpful to be able to link it back to.Carlapicasso (talk) 23:50, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

Good job! Tcravy (talk) 13:13, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Keep it up! Tcravy (talk) 13:04, 27 March 2019 (UTC)

This is great! Make sure you cite your sources at the end using footnotes and add a picture. I think that "general population" in the second sentence reads better as "general population. I'm not sure if you need to say "according to the Huffington post", but I think you can use your quote and then use a footnote to cite it. Also, who is Wasiak?Cbettica65 (talk) 12:39, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This is really good! It would be better if you could include section/subsection headings and some citations. Bokyung0327 (talk) 12:40, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Maybe add a few sources, especially one coming from the Huffington Post article. Probably would remove the "According to the huffington post," as it's not something you'd really see on a wikipedia page, and maybe link Wasiak or give some background to who that is. Rickyderas (talk) 12:45, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Good Job! Don't forget to cite your sources and write in an objective tone.Awhite07 (talk) 12:49, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Add more on who Wasiak actually is the sentence where you introduce him and why he is so important to the fashion industry Ddurandisse (talk) 12:50, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This statement is awkwardly worded: "...which is a big shift from how advertisements used to be". For the sentence that reads, "This is how fashion designers communicate with their consumers and understand what their demands are", I would probably change it to, "This is how fashion designers communicate with their consumers and understand their demands". "Huffington Post" should be capitalized. Also, maybe get rid of the back slash in "brands/companies", changing it to a comma or an "or". Fields18x (talk) 12:54, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Capitalize Huffington Post when you mention them and add the citation (footnote) from the source there. Also, in your second and third sentence you use ", which" maybe you can change the wording there to make it less repetitive. Since the paragraph is fact driven, do you have more sources to cite? to confirm the information.Oliviaohearn (talk) 12:55, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

The argument behind the passage itself is solid but to really emphasize how big the industry has gotten you can provide, for example, dollar figures for the salaries of social media fashion "influencers" or how much the industry spends solely on advertising in social media. Fudymben (talk) 12:59, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Great job! I like the use of the 4 P's. Just don't forget to link stuff, cite stuff, and add some pictures. Otherwise, keep it up! Miaeschlidt (talk) 13:01, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Good work on your paragraph! However, I feel like you need citation in your work. The concept is really like but I would like to see a more details for the 4 P's. Robertpark1999 (talk) 13:05, 3 April 2019 (UTC)robertpark1999

Good job introducing your topic. Don't foget to cite your sources and capitalize company names such as Facebook and Instagram. Additionally, I would link those companies to their wiki pages for more reference. I would be more specific as to which websites you are talking about and would even include photos. Good job.Henrykuv (talk) 16:59, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This is a good start to your topic. Along with the other comments I would elaborate a little more on the change of advertising and getting more specific on the details of past advertising, but otherwise nice job!Sophieb905 (talk) 00:06, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

I don't see any citations, external links or quotes that are blended in with information. Remember to always cite which author wrote the article as well, not just say the publication unless it was an editorial board and doesn't name people specifically. Please capitalize proper nouns as well. Overall, the information included is good, just a bit more personal editing before consulting Wikipedia editor. Regards, Rapidrider (talk) 16:09, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

looks good so far, make sure you are sure to add citations and link key words Casey518 (talk) 23:47, 5 April 2019 (UTC)Casey O'Connor

I like it so far, good description but I think it would help if you added some citations and links to help add credibility to your summary. Benitalukose (talk) 01:56, 6 April 2019 (UTC) Benita Lukose