User talk:Ehail773/Fox Indian Massacre

Feedback from Dr. Hyde
Template Feedback on Wikipedia Article Draft

'''You’ve made a good start here. I can see where you’ve added and rewritten some pieces, but the key thing now is to add new sources and more citations in general.'''

1)    Lay out the structure of your article or the new chunks of an old article with an Introduction and titles for the parts you want to add or rewrite.

'''I’m not sure how much you want to add here – are the changes more about adding new sources and citations or is there a section you plan to rework? Make sure you put in dates and links to other Native peoples and battles. You could definitely add to the conclusion, which is pretty much just says that the war ended, and say more about what happens in the region after the Fox Wars.'''

2) Added new, high-quality sources (books, articles, authoritative websites)

'''THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE: What you have here are some classic works that are already in the article. You need to find more recent scholarship about Indigenous wars in the the early 1700s. Older book that OU has and is online might have some leads: R. David Edmunds and Peyser, Joseph L. The Fox Wars : The Mesquakie Challenge to New France (1993)'''

3)Written 50-60% of what you hope to add

I can see where you plan to take this, but the key task is finding and adding sources.

4) Thinking about linking as opposed to creating too much background

'''Here is where you might need to consider how much background people can get from other Wikipedia articles. I think you need more links to various tribal nations, wars that came before, etc. But you probably need to add more about who the various tribal nations were. Since someone in our class is writing the Fox Massacre entry, you can link to that piece.'''

5) Started to clean up a few paragraphs

You can decide whether you want to do this on the mainspace or in your sandbox, but the clean up and fixing spelling and writing errors takes a while.

GRADE FOR DRAFT (POINTS) : 69/80

Afh1858 (talk) 20:16, 10 November 2023 (UTC)