User talk:Ejschwab/sandbox

Tone
Great job citing your sentences and not repeating information that is on the existing Wikipedia page! Remembering that Wikipedia is a resource for the public consider explaining the steps of cider fermentation more. Several of your sentences are vague and skip over important details. The general tone is good, but I would suggest looking at the Brewing/Fermenting section for more advice in terms of details that could be added. Bryantlib (talk) 01:05, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Content
Instructor comments: Slightly edit the first sentence: The (maybe say “Common steps before fermentation…” or “Possible steps…” or “The steps before ferm might include…” since not everyone follows all of these) steps before fermentation are fruit and (or?) juice blending, acidity and pH (what do you mean here- titrateable acidity and pH measurements and sometimes adjustments?), juice preparation (isn’t this all juice preparation? What specifically do you mean here?), sulfur dioxide and yeast additions. Suggested edits in brackets: During the initial stages of fermentation there is an evolution of carbon dioxide as the yeasts multiple (spelling) and begins to break down the sugar into alcohol (ethanol is more precise).[2] As a result of (In addition to) fermentation metabolism of yeast, certain organoleptic compounds are formed that have an effect on the quality of cider, such as (other) alcohols, esters and other volatile (compounds).[3] An important effect is that (instead of using “that’, describe what the effect is- are you talking about effervesence or ?) due to the CO2 (write this out, or add this shortened term behind the first instance of using the word carbon dioxide on the page) released during alcoholic fermentation.[4] After fermentation racking occurs into a clean vessel, trying to leave behind as much yeast as possible. [5] You have sources that you didn’t seem to use much. I’d like to see you add a little more information from sources other than Lea. Add a little info from 3 & 4, for instance. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Oenotropae (talk • contribs) 00:47, 3 May 2018 (UTC)

Before making the paragraph 'live'
Remember to work with group members when uploading to the live page to ensure you dont upload the same information. Also consider how you will insert your information into the existing cider page. You may have to break up your sentences or not include everything depending on the information that is already on the page.

PROOFREAD your paragraph before you make your information 'live'.

Before you post make sure one person in your group created a new section on the Cider apple talk page you are uploading to, letting the people watching the page know you are making edits. And also make sure you summarize your final change, when submitting to the live page. If you don't remember how to do these steps, re-watch the tutorial. :)Bryantlib (talk) 16:02, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Adding information to Cider page
You are inserting information on the Cider page, which is semi-protected. To add your paragraphs to the live page, you will need to have made at least 10 edits. You can do this in several ways; editing in your sandbox or a group member's sandbox, or/and going through and doing the steps in the tutorial all add edits to your username. If you change something and hit 'publish changes' it counts as an edit. The little box called 'Notices' on the top right of all the Wikipedia pages tells you when you have made 10 edits. Bryantlib (talk) 16:02, 7 May 2018 (UTC)