User talk:ElainaDH

=Nice Evaluations=

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard: Make the changes that have been noted by other peers previously. Other than those suggestions, it looks good.

Language
Meets standard: your article reads well, however I would suggest finding a way to intoduce some subheadings to make transistions smoother for readers. See comments under organization.

Organization
Meets standard: I would suggest using some subheadings to break up the information you have included. Maybe one that says "Terrorism Influences on Tourism" so that readers know that you are making that transition. It seems a little jumpy otherwise.

Coding
Meets standard: looks great! I like that you included some media in your article.

Validity
Meets standard: great job finding and adding lots of information to the existing page. I saw the original post does not have any citations in it. Great job finding some sources to back you up. However, I am confused by the necessity of the first paragraph that includes the beginnings of what tourism is. Maybe link with a See Also: tourism template.

Completion
Meets standard: Lots of information included on your page, good job. I would however break up your headings to say "Nice" and then another saying "Tourism".

Relevance
Meets standard:

Citation
Standard: Check the dates on source #15; you just need to edit it and fix the dates.

Spelling/Grammar
“Starting in 1886” “1908 Automobile use opened”, maybe “By 1908, automobile use…” “From a”, there is an extra space here “French people came to Cote D’Azur”

Language
Overall, I think it is easy to read and fits with the tone of wikipedia. “can be said to have started” -- sounds a bit cumbersome “During the 1930’s competition for tourists from Italy, Nice became more economically aggressive” -- “During the 1930s, due to competition,...” “once the most widely used guide” -- where and when? Seems unspecific. “advantages as a long-standing attraction gives it an advantage over newer ones” you say advantage twice in one sentence. “US-originating flights hardly change” -- change should be in past tense, also I feel like “hardly” does fit with the tone.

Organization
Maybe you could separate it into three subheadings: history, terrorism and future/climate change or something.

Coding
Terrorism should be a sub-heading. There is some sort of error in source 15.

Validity
"Tourism can be said to have started with” -- specify (specifically tourism in Nice?) I am a little confused with the 11th paragraph (“There was a tourist boom 1950’s…”) as the source you cite only kind of has to do with the sentence right before it. Where did the other information come from? On source 18, the actual authors are: Corbet, O’Connell, Efthymiou, Guiomard, & Lucey rather than Corbeta, O'Connelly, Efthymioiua, Guiomarda, Lucey.

Completion
I think it is nice and thorough, though 19 and 20 are the same source.

Relevance
The paragraph about the railroads could be split into a couple of paragraphs as the info about the Queen and the hotel were unrelated.

Citation
Citations are good.

06/10/2019 Evaluation by Npearso2

 * Points: 30/40
 * Grade: 75%

Spelling/Grammar
Does not meet standard. There are a significant number of spelling and grammar errors.
 * "Nor was there an easy way by sea." is a fragment of a sentence. I would recommend tacking it onto the previous sentence.
 * "visitors would arrive in October or November to enjoy the winter sun and depart in March/April..." It is odd to have both versions of "and/or" in this sentence, choose one.
 * You have a few run-on sentences, particularly in the section about the railroads.
 * World War I is usually abbreviated WWI not WW1.
 * "There was a tourist boom 1950’s," maybe instead, "A tourist boom in the 1950s, along with..."

Language
Nearly meets standard.


 * Does not read like an encyclopedic entry as there are a lot of subjective claims made without citations. For example, "Railroads shaped the tourism to Nice." Who says this?

Organization
Nearly meets standard.


 * For the most part, the timeline makes sense.
 * You mention the 1930s, then the 19th century, then the 1930s again.

Coding
Meets standard. No obvious errors.

Validity
Meets standard. Decent information is provided.

Completion
Nearly meets standard.


 * Based on the title, I was expecting this to be a state of current tourism or at least mention it. This is mostly history, which is fine but does not account for the current trends and attractions in Nice.

Relevance
Nearly meets standard.


 * I'm confused by your first sentence: in Nice or in general?
 * Many of your sections seem to have general statements as sort of topic sentences. This is irrelevant and unnecessary for the type of writing we are doing.

Citation
Nearly meets standard.


 * The citations are not properly formatted. They should be before the period of the sentence, not after.
 * Citation styles appear inconsistent, some MLA and some APA format.

6/15/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 13:48, 15 June 2019 (UTC)

There is really a lot here, and it would honestly be the great started of a new article, rather than added to the current Nice article. (See completion, below)
 * Points: 38/40
 * Grade: 95%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.
 * "...During the 1950’s, another..." Omit the apostrophe. The 1950s are plural, not possessive. Same goes for elsewhere.

Language
Meets standard.

Organization
Meets standard.
 * The section needs internal headers, especially if you make a new article out of it.

Coding
Nearly meets standard.
 * Using the citation tools would help the references be in perfect order.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Exceeds standard. This article is tremendous, and should probably be the history section on a separate article about tourism in Nice, with a main-article link added to the Nice page under the 'Economy and tourism' header on the Nice main page.
 * The picture is a nice touch. (Silly pun intended.) — Preceding unsigned comment added by DrMichaelWright (talk • contribs) 13:50, 15 June 2019 (UTC)

Relevance
Meets standard.

Spelling/Grammar

 * This indicate[s] the city has multicultural tolerance
 * World War II a [wave of] Jewish immigrants
 * “capitols" of culture, should be "capitals" of culture

Language

 * "some say the geography..." Who says this?
 * I would say "Although residents have diverse origins, they..."
 * The first paragraph seems like a persuasive essay or ad for Marseille, and not an encyclopedia
 * What does "the communists took over" entail? Were they elected?

Organization

 * I'm not exactly sure how I would go about organizing this... Maybe start with the historical context? It seems like the last sentence of the second paragraph could by included in the first paragraph, at least.

Coding
Meets standard.

Validity

 * The first paragraph only documents the positive aspects of Marseille, but reading the first source, we can see that there are negative aspects as well (racially motivated murders, xenophobic National Front, communities do co‐exist, but often warily and at a distance)

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard

5/17/2019 Evaluation by KStein91

 * Points: 37.5/40

Spelling/Grammar
Exceeds standard: looks great.

Language
Meets standard: Nice professional tone throughout.

Organization
Nearly meets standard: is the italic text preexisting or is it italicized for quoting purposes? Overall, though it is easy to read.

Coding
Meets standard: looks good, however I am confused by the use of the italicized text.

Validity
Meets standard: appears to be solid information, good job.

Completion
Meets standard: great interpreting your sources into easily digestible paragraphs.

Relevance
Meets standard: Good job adding information about the multi-cultural nature of Marseille.

Citation
Meets standard: well used citations throughout.

6/7/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 18:42, 7 June 2019 (UTC)

I see that you already implemented this on Wikipedia. That's great! But I do think that you should go back and fix a few things, as per my suggestions below.
 * Points: 35/40
 * Grade: 87.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Nearly meets standard.
 * "By the 1890's. immigrants..." omit the apostrophe. The 1890s are plural, not possessive.
 * "Marseille has served as a major port where immigrants from around the Mediterranean arrive" Verb tense conflict.
 * "Marseille continues to be more multicultural." This is awkwardly timed. It's in a historical segment, and therefore should use the past tense. Even so, you're not suggesting much of a transition between periods between which we witness continuity.
 * "...wave ofJewish immigrants..." put a space in there.

Language
Nearly meets standard.
 * "Immigration has made Marseille what it is today." This sort of statement sounds like something you'd find in a tourist pamphlet.
 * "Immigrants first came locally..." Given Marseille's long history, you might want to qualify the given period somewhat.
 * "Armenians from Turkey began..." The Ottoman Empire, as the Turkey did not yet exist in 1915.
 * "In 1962, when Algeria, Morocco, and Tunisia became independent, French citizens from there arrived in Marseille. [8] When most of France’s colonies gained independence in the 1960s,..." These two sentences are talking about the same development. Therefore it's awkward that the second sentence acts as if it is talking about something new.

Organization
Nearly meets standard.
 * I think the 'European Capital of Culture' paragraph should probably be extracted back out under its own subheader, with that see-also template that it had before your revision.
 * Your first paragraph is very interesting and analytical. It's probably not the best first paragraph for this section, since you should describe before you analyze and explain.
 * "For a while, the mafia appeared to run the city; then the communists became more prominent." This may best be part of a very different section. The Mafia in question may be Italian, but might also have been home-grown pretending to be Italians. Communists are not a culture. Now, Kimmelman might be entirely right, but as much as I love the New York Times a weekender puff piece like this article is not exactly the most solid foundation on which to write your Wikipedia contribution. He does cite Jean Viard, who has a couple of articles in our library's databases. He would be a much better source to reference.

Coding
Meets standard.

Validity
Nearly meets standard.
 * "Marseille became Europe’s busiest port by 1900, trading merchandise with Africa, Asia and the Americas." I very much doubt that this is true. Rotterdam, Antwerp, Hamburg and Barcelona outclass Marseille in most categories of port busy-ness, nor does Dickey, whom you cite, seem to make this point. Maybe it's true in 1900, but I'm very skeptical. Can you point to the paragraph in his article where this is asserted? Clark doesn't mention this about Marseille.

Completion
Exceeds standard. You've really written a lot here.

Relevance
Exceeds standard. Yes, the existing article is improved with these additions, but I suggest that you implement my suggestions here to really give it some more polish.

Welcome!
Hello, ElainaDH, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Elysia and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:37, 1 April 2019 (UTC)