User talk:Elaparra/sandbox


 * Hey so it looks like the other reviewer went through and replaced your questions with answers (while I was doing the same thing), so I created a new section at the bottom with all my comments in one place. Michael Szpik (talk) 22:24, 25 March 2018 (UTC)MS


 * Hey! These are my edits for your paper, I have a highlighted version that I can send you too! -Meredith Aird

Between 1989 and 1999, corruption in Colombia is estimated to have cost the state 1% of its GDP annually.[6]

-maybe give numbers, like the amount in order to highlight how drastic that one percent is

In addition to the economic cost of corruption, other aspects of Colombian society have been negatively affected. The lack of credibility of politicians and the Colombian government, as well as, the demoralization and disinterest of society at large are other significant consequences.

Recent studies of criminal behavior in Colombia indicate that while the crime rate has grown annually about 39.7%, the criminality of law and government officials has grown 164.1%. The conviction rate has not increased despite this spike in criminal behavior of public servants. The levels of administrative corruption are so high that as of 2011, the media reports of such felonies overshadow the stories on terrorism or armed conflict.[7]

-a few awkwardly phrased sentences; many describe the years of when the crime rate has been growing; a feel like a timeline would be helpful for people to understand crime rates now and in the past; the tenses were also in the past tense or did not match so I changed up a lot of the wording

-I think that the last sentence (highlighed green) should be changed or deleted; what is the relevance of the sentence? I think that it could be changed so that the information seems less slanted

A 2005 study published by Transparency for Colombia (Transparencia por Colombia) assessed the index of integrity of governments, assemblies, and comptrollers at the departmental level. Their results concluded that not a single actor scored an appropriate level of integrity.[8] 51% of those agencies are prone to high or very high levels of corruption.[8]

-is this an impact as well? Maybe include this somewhere else? Colombia's modern corruption takes place mostly at the level of business between politicians and officials with private contractors and companies.

The lack of ethical behavior among private individuals or organizations, and politicians has resulted in a culture known in Colombia as "serrucho" (saw). In this culture, it is almost the norm for individuals to bribe politicians in order to win government contracts and for politicians to add commissions and extra costs for their own benefit. Other sources of corruption come from the result of privatization of government owned institutions in which the profits are amassed for individual wealth.[9]

-is this an impact of corruption? It feels like this describes more the culture of corruption in colombia in the private sphere; maybe you could move this to another segment or create a segment of the culture of corruption?

According to Transparency for Colombia, the country ranks 70th in the Perception of Corruption index. Only 2.9% of the people interviewed felt that corruption was a critical problem to address. Colombians prioritize addressing other societal issues like violence and unemployment. Other issues versus violence, which is a high priority to 31.49%, and unemployment, which is a high priority to 20.7%.[10]

-not sure if you need these statistics?

According to a study by the Universidad Externado de Colombia, corruption is one of the main factors that render doing business difficult in Colombia. 91% of entrepreneurs consider that some business owners pay bribes. 16.92% say that a businessperson will offer a bribe, and out of the 28.4% of entrepreneurs who were asked for money or favors by a government official, only 8.52% reported it to the authorities in an effective way.[10][11]

-I feel like this could be in the beginning of the section since it is the most relevant to how corruption impacts business in Colombia; maybe explain how these consequences affect overall economic activity; just include one sentence saying why this hinder business activity i.e. foreign direct investment etc.

Corruption, Poverty and Inequality[edit]
to come... -I like this subcategory, I think its really relevant!!

Political Corruption[edit]
-Corruption in Politics? Current levels of corruption have increased steadily since 2009 and continue to worsen according to reports produced by the Attorney General and the comptroller. These reports have discovered corruption at almost every level of government, from local to national. In September 2009, 48,000 government officials, including 800 mayors and 30 governors, were investigated for corruption. The issue of corruption has not been isolated to one political party; accusations[from whom?] of corruption span the political spectrum, from right-wing conservatives in the Party of National Unity to the left-wing party Democratic Pole.[citation needed] Society’s lack of motivation to tackle the issue of corruption also stems from government officials’ immunity. Only a small percentage of officials investigated for corruption are likely to suffer legal consequences. In addition, it is difficult for the judicial system to handle many investigations at lower tiers of government. At the top of the political hierarchy, politicians avoid prosecution via political maneuvering and loopholes, sometimes under the protection of their own political party. An example of this strategic maneuvering is the attempt by the Party of National Unity to pass a bill that would protect its politicians involved in the parapolitics scandal.[12]

-What is the parapolitics scandal? Is this something you should expand on or include a sentence to clarify?

Colombia's corruption has also been influenced by the drug trafficking industry. There is a rush of society members to achieve easy wealth, thus rendering every aspect of society vulnerable to corruption, from politics, to agriculture and sports.

-this seems a bit assumptive? Maybe if you can clear this up add it to the culture of corruption section

Corruption within institutions[edit]
-too vague of a title; politics is an institution so I think there are too many things that “institutions encompass”

Many institutions in Colombia have been the subject of administrative corruption. Examples of large institutions, that span across industries and have been involved in major cases of corruption, include: Ferrovias (national railroad administration), Caprecom (health care), Foncolpuertos (ports authority), Termorrio (energy), Dragacol (civil engineering), Chivor reservoir (water supply), and contracts with foreign companies such as Mexican ICA for the pavement of streets in Bogota.

-I think maybe you should expand this section; maybe just give one example of the corruption with one of these industries so that people could understand what type of corruption it i.e. winning contracts from government, embezzlement, etc -maybe create a segment with corruption in the private sphere or corporate corruption

National-level Corruption[edit]
to come...

Municipal-level Corruption[edit]
Levels of corruption at the local level (towns, cities) has been increasing since the 1990 relative to corruption levels at the national scale[3] to be continued...

Electoral fraud[edit]
to be continued...

Politic scandals[edit]
Colombian corruption scandals are often related to the conflict that has affected Colombia for 50 years.

-what is this “conflict”, defiintely unclear what you are talking about


 * The Proceso 8000, the legal investigation to the events that happened in the middle-1990s, when the president of Colombia, Ernesto Samper, was accused of receiving money from drug lords for his presidential campaign.[13]
 * The Colombian parapolitics scandal, which debuted in 2006, revealed links between politicians and paramilitaries. Supporters of former president, Álvaro Uribe's, government are involved in this scandal.
 * The Yidispolitics Scandal, caused by declarations of the Colombian ex-representative Yidis Medina. Medina claims that the Colombian government offered her important jobs and money in exchange for her vote of approval of Uribe's reelection.[14][15]
 * The 2006 DAS scandal, in which the now-defunct Departamento Administrativo de Seguridad (Administrative Department of Security) illegally wiretapped the telephones of Supreme Court magistrates, judges, senators, journalists and other prominent figures perceived as opposition to the Álvaro Uribe administration.
 * The 2011 DIAN (Office of Taxation and Customs) scandal consisted of governmental administrative staff attempt to divert and steal millions of dollars from the Colombian taxpayers through a complex system of fake companies and legal loopholes.[16]
 * In 2011 a number Colombian mayors misused money that was intended to help Colombians that were affected by floods. Rather than using the allocated money for flood relief, the mayors amassed tax-payer money for their own political campaigns and personal bank accounts.[17]
 * In September 2011 former Bogota mayor, Samuel Moreno, was convicted for irregularities in contracts with private businesses, under a scandal named "contract carousel" by the media.[18]
 * In February 2014, a massive corruption network within the Colombian army was exposed. High-ranking military officers siphoned money and took bribes in order to grant contracts. Some of this senior officers took bribes up to 50% of the cost of the contracts they awarded. Other facets of the military were embezzling money intended for military supplies [19]
 * In February 2018, the Corte Suprema de Justicia leaked tapes of ex-president Alvaro Uribe and Guillermo Villegas conversations. At the time, Villegas was under investigation for involvement with paramilitary groups and about his involvement in the manipulation of witnesses in a case against Ivan Cepeda, a Colombian senator. Uribe was aware that his phone calls with Villegas were being intercepted, and was recorded saying "Those sons of bitches are hearing this call". [20]

I created a color-coded copy of this so that my corrections would be more clear! I think some sections can be expanded and the titles should maybe be switched around a bit! You have a lot of info and really helpful statistics though! I would definitely move the impact section to the end of the paper because it kind of ties everything in nicely and the implications are obviously important. Again, a culture of corruption segment would be helpful I think aas well in the beginning.

Feedback from Michael Szpik
General comments:
 * 1) Remember to keep "an encyclopedic tone" there were a few instances of strong or vague language.. not sure if that was you or the pre-existing content but it should be avoided.
 * 2) I think you should add a few sections to make sure the page is well organized and covers all aspects of corruption.
 * 3) A separate section for bureaucratic corruption. right now you have  bribes, regulations, ease of doing business, preferential treatment of insiders briefly mentioned in the impacts section, but this probably merits its own category. It could be a subsection in political corruption, but it might be better as its own section. (the other reviewer mentioned a separate section for business related corruption, sounds similar to what I think you need to add)
 * 4) A section at the end that talks about recent corruption related reform and the effectiveness of control mechanisms in enforcing law.

Comments by section: What's there is a good start, but you make some strong statements that need further explanation. Also it seems like a good idea to include links to the other Colombia pages.
 * 1) History: this is a tricky section, I am also doing a country corruption page and it seems like there is a decision here to be made about the extent of historical overview. I subdivided mine by time period and kept my summaries brief, focusing on identifying the historical legacy, how it affected governance structures, and how that leads to present day corruption. I don't know Columbia that well, but you might want to distinguish between the colonial era and conflict in the 40s-60s.
 * 1) Impacts: of corruption section makes more sense towards the end makes the most sense towards the end. You could leave the culture part as an impact if you don't want to write a separate section about it, but the content of this section seems to be TI reports and index things, so you might want to put specific info somewhere else.
 * 2) Political: the corruption within institutions sections might not belong as a sub-section of political corruption, if you plan to use it to expand on what is listed in the paragraph.
 * 3) Electoral:
 * 4) List of Scandals: I like this section, I think I will do something like this in my page. Perhaps some of the major points merit further explanation, particularly the military contracts case. In fact you might want to expand each of them to describe the outcome.. what's there only describes the scandal, but not if people were held accountable by the courts or electorate, or if the case prompted new legislation.. stuff like that could be added, although it is also fine the way it is.  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Michael Szpik (talk • contribs) 20:19, 25 March 2018 (UTC)

Manuel Balan Review
I think this draft is in very good shape. The comments provided by both Meredith and Michael are on point, and you should revise a bit the structure of the page, as well as the tone in some sections (make it more objective, less opinion). Good use of sources. Just a suggestion: avoid spreading yourself too thin. If you feel as if you can't go in depth on all issues, that's ok. Depth over breadth. Good work so far. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Manuelbalan (talk • contribs) 15:15, 26 March 2018 (UTC)