User talk:Elawson123/LGBT rights organization

First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?

The article does a good job of introducing what is LGBTQ+ organizations is and introduces some of the LGBTQ+ organizations.

What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

I would add more information on the background of LGBTQ+ organizations, especially the organizations that were already mentioned like the scientific-humanitarian committee and the mattachine society.

What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

The most important thing that could be changed to this article is adding more information about the beginning LGBTQ+ organizations and where they started.

Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!

N/A

Mollie's Review
There is a lot of room for expansion in this article. The lead section provides a good overview of the spectrum of political affiliations that LGBT rights organizations fall on. Every area of the history section needs a lot more information- also, since the article doesn't pertain to the history of LGBT rights organizations specifically, there are many other sections about LGBT rights organizations that could be added. There need to be several grammar corrections and neutrality corrections- for example the quotation marks need to be removed from around "obscenity" and "members" needs to be "members'." CardamomEnthusiast (talk) 20:10, 29 September 2022 (UTC)

Mars' Peer Review
LGBT Rights Organization

Lead section


 * Include other less well known organizations that are outside Western culture (China? Japan? India?)
 * Updates of LGBTQ+ instead of LGBT
 * Concise, tone and balance are neutral and doesn't give any persuasion

History


 * Expansion of The Mattachine Society (no info, only section title)
 * Discussion of anything that can be found pre-late 19th century (anything earlier?)
 * Discussion of orgs that were relevant during Stonewall (~1968-1979)
 * Expansive expansion needed of 21st century organizations (there are so many, too many to name, examples HRC, GLAAD, The Trevor Project, etc.)
 * Inclusion of non Western LGBTQ rights organizations

MNC-2016 (talk) 03:53, 3 October 2022 (UTC)