User talk:Eleonor.thomas/sandbox

Hi Eleanor! Thanks for your work on the Body Image page. I just have a quick thought about making it less biased. There are three areas I saw that could be tweaked to maybe be more objective which are: “Today's media has viewers striving for unattainable beauty.” -I think that is a pretty general statement about all of the media and you put a very negative spin on it by using the word unattainable. “The advertisement shows the many levels of deception that take place while photo editing that could be beneficial for individuals to watch because the clip encourages viewers to realize the ugly truth of photo editing...” -This is a nice analysis of the advertisement, but it seems like you are really encouraging readers to watch it and come away from the video with one specific idea as opposed to allowing them to create their own. It might be more objective to give an overview of what happens in the video for your audience and then avoid encouraging them to watch it. “These media message have a serve impact on how individuals carry themselves along with what aspects bog them down like insecurities with body image.” -You could directly quote or start the phrase by saying that the interviewed women believe this because it appears as if you are analyzing the film for the readers instead of giving them a synopsis of what happens for them to analyze themselves.