User talk:Elozano9/sandbox

Great job!

Both of your contributions to the articles were strong and you did an excellent job tying together ideas in a succinct way. Your first addition included lots of quality sources. It does a good job summarizing ideas but it could definitely be strengthen with more specific examples. The use of the example of the tobacco industry is interesting but I'm not exactly sure if it is the most relevant inclusion to your work. Your closing sentence loses some objectivity by using the beginning, "Ironically" and giving a very bold and not sufficiently supported assertion, that people with mental disorders are the people buying tobacco products. Overall great work in your addition.

The second addition is brief, but very helpful. I liked how you specifically broke down the different terms (GPA, test scores, etc.) You also did well including and citing your sources. However there are a few spelling and grammar mistakes that could be quickly fixed to just help the overall quality of your article. Abbycanningwiki (talk) 00:49, 22 October 2018 (UTC)Abby Canning