User talk:Emily Ky/sandbox

Peer Review:

Great topic! I have gone through your article and learned a bit about the enviromental quality in Lao PDR. However, I notice some parts in the article needed to be considered. First of all, you do not have to open the senctence with the general fact of bad environmental quality because we are writing on the wikipedia which represents only about the fact and data about the topic. As a result, you just delete that sentence. Secondly, you should try to avoid the word "most" because in the training, we are suggested not to use the word "most" in our article. In stead, you can give the number of the exact amount of the population and it must be cited. Thirdly, you should provide more data about the environmental quality in Laos PDR. Overall, I really enjoy reading your article. Chamsok (talk) 23:29, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

Response: Thank for your time and valuable advice. After I go over the content of my article, I do realize that there are some overlapping and unclear sentences I need improvement on. As you point out, I will be more carefully about using qualitative words like "most". You are totally right that I have to cite every sentence in my wikipedia article. Thank you so much for your advice. It helps a lot.

Amber's Peer Review
What's Good:
 * I think you have good leading sentences about your topic! You can probably combine the first and second paragraph together.
 * Content reflects lead specific to Laos
 * Good at pointing out causes and then stating effects
 * Structure is pretty clear
 * Tone appears neutral

Things To Add/Improve On: XAmberA (talk) 23:39, 18 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Add specific Sustainable Development Goal [Clean Water and Sanitation]. Subheading title was kind of misleading to me, I thought it was generally about the quality of the environment.
 * Since your SDG is Clean Water and Sanitation, add more information to the water pollution paragraph. Also add more information on how the information you added is related to Laos specifically
 * More facts and citations
 * Sources appear to be reliable, but I think it'd be good to use more sources more focused on Laos rather than just general information.
 * Minor grammar mistakes
 * Maybe include more statistics if possible

Response: Thank you Amber for your critical ideas. I have changed my subheading title as you mention. It is just a draft. I will make sure I add more critical information about clear water and sanitation in Laos. Of course, I also think I need more facts and statistical analysis in my article. You do point out a good point on more specific data. I also find it hard to find current and reliable sources about Laos. I will help improving my article and take into considerate of your comments. I do appreciate your time and comments.

Water and Sanitation Poor sanitation can affect people health and national economy development. Annually, poor sanitation and hygiene problem cause three million disease cases in Lao, 6.000 premature deaths and the children in rural areas suffer from poor sanitation is very high at 49 percent in 2011 making 193 million dollar national economic loss per year, equal to 5.6% of GDP.[1] In Laos, there are major incidences of dysentery and diarrhea caused partly by deficient sanitation, improper water supply and absence of adequate wastewater treatment facilities as a result of rapid increase in urban population.[2] Laos people who can get access to sanitation in rural areas account for only 36 percent in 2004. [2] The government in Laos adopt the Millennium Development as prepared collaborative by the United Nations, World Bank and International Mutual Fund to promote water supply and sanitation for its people to access safe drinking and basic sanitation. [3] The Mekong River plays an important role for Laos economy. The Mekong River basin covers nearly 90 percent of Laos country and drains toward Vietnam.[2] In Laos, government encourages hydro-power investment which increase pressure on water and sea animal threats. the development of electricity in Laos and export to neighboring countries are essential for government revenues to reduce poverty. [2] Although hydro-power does not pollute water or air directly, hydro-power reservoir and dam can impact the change in environment, land use and natural habitats. [4] There are potential environmental consequences of damming water, creating gigantic reservoirs, flooding entire area, blocking natural course of river and constructing power lines. [5] For example, the structure of dam and reservoir interfere fishing migration, and alter water temperature and river's flow; as a result. it may injure the live of sea animals and animals on land. [6] Fisheries contributes about 13 percent of Laos national GDP per year. [2] Because Laos is covered almost by the Mekong River, people use stream directly for drinking, cooking, bathing and washing. However, as the population increases, watercourses that are used simultaneously for water disposal and water supply cause health issues like diarrhea and typhoid.[7] Meanwhile, locals stated that before the upstream dams were built they could safely drink the Mekong River water. However, after the Xayaburi Dam in Laos is built, the water quality become contaminated. The water quality in Laos become even worse when a new dam is built in Don Sahong, less than 2 kilometer from the town, causing the population get diarrhea and inhale with bad air quality. [7] More importantly, most population live near the Mekong river found dead fish floating in polluted water in the area between the Don Sahong Dam and Preah Rumkel (cambodia) which made their only source of water for drinking, cooking, fishing and every day chores as disaster. [7] Meanwhile, there is a high chance of getting malaria for those who live around the water which is surrounded by mosquitoes. [2] Through the Millennium Development program, some progresses have been achieved over the past decade in improving healthy system in Laos. The number of health facilities increased by 75 percents, mortality from malaria reduced by 60 percent in rural areas. [2] However, Lao population has been meet healthy living standard. In some rural areas, people are lacked of safe drinking water, chemical runoff, sewage and limited access to health services. For example, malnutrition, non-hygienic lifestyle, poverty are caused by inadequate public health services. [1] Although Lao is one of the dominant renewable water resource in Asia, 25 percent of urban dwellers and 40 percent of rural Lao population are lacked access to safe drinking water. In certain location, villagers have to walk up to 2 kilometer to get access to water. [2] The environmental quality can essentially affect well-being and quality of live. Poor air quality is associated with premature death, cancer, and long term harm to respiratory and cardiovascular system. [8] Furthermore, environmental health encounters from household air pollution appear to be significantly disproportionate which affect the poor population in Lao PDR.[9] Most than 95 percents of Lao population use coal and wood for everyday cooking which can cause indoor air pollution and health issues with a life expectancy of 56 years in 2008.[9] Recognizing this potential environmental health issue, the government starts pay close attention to poverty embraces important environment service such as access to safe water and sanitation. [2] Most of people live in urban area has little access to clean water for either personal use or irrigation purposes due to rising water pollution.[10] Drinking water sources that are contaminated with harmful chemicals and human waste can cause diseases in children such as gastrointestinal illness, and developmental affects such as learning disorders and cancer. [11] UNICEF works in Lao PDR to help ensure children and families in homes and schools have access to clean water and sanitation facilities. [10] Many rural communities are unaware of appropriate sanitation and hygiene practices. Approximately 24% of the population practice open defecation, and only 28% of children’s faces are disposed of safely. [10] Hazardous chemicals that include heavy metals such as chromium, copper, zinc and persistent organic pollutants such as furans, dioxins and polychlorinated biphenyls are widely banned while Lao population are not fully aware of its catastrophic effects. [12] As the population in Lao keeps growing, heavy mental contamination from industrial activities increases which lead to a concern toward rudimentary metal smelting facilities in the country and mining activities. Therefore, the surface water quality in downstream of mining and industrial activities become a potential problem for Laos well being. [2] Poly cyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) is one of the essential types of persistent pollutants of toxicity from natural resources and incomplete com busting of organic matter.[13] According to Marine Pollution Bulletin journal article, the environmental distribution of PAHs in tropic Asia become a concern of this region as the grow of industrialization and urbanization due to a frequent rain inherent to tropic Asia in which facilitate the transfer of leaked petroleum from land to rivers and coastal water. [13] In most urban areas in Lao PDR, the pollutants from private properties wash into drains. Little, dirt and rubber compounds from metal, glass and plastic from properties contribute to sediments and nutrients. [14] — Preceding unsigned comment added by Emily Ky (talk • contribs) 00:18, 30 November 2018 (UTC)