User talk:Emilyyhharlow/sandbox

Patron: Using "Patron" and "Commissioned" is a bit redundant. The sentence can work without "...as a patron of the Triumphal Arch" as that is already established with his name under the patron tab and Emperor Maximilian's act of commissioning. Final sentence has a similar issue with the word woodcuts being used twice. Maybe replace the first instance with "wood blocks" to specify that Durer designed the wood blocks to create the woodcuts.

Historical Context: "The origins and display history of this monumental print meant that Maximilian must have chosen a woodcut as a vehicle to mount his assemblages." I am not sure what is trying to be said here. Consider rephrasing? The word "and" is missing in between "publish" and "easily" in sentence 4. I think this section would benefit from a short description/analysis of what a Triumphal Arch is historically built for.

Identity of Figures and Design: You mention "Maximilian's past life"-is this accurate or is this referring to his "private life" mentioned later and in the original article? I think the info you provide well supports the patron's reasoning in the Patron section of the article.

Execution: "1517-18" in the first sentence. Are these years? If so, maybe replace "of" to "between" and write full years, ie. 1517-1518. Was there a reason you got rid of the info about Durer's pupils mentioned in this section from the original article?

The tone of the article is neutral and doesn't distract from the information being given. Your organizational structure is also clear and I like how you broke down some of the paragraphs from the original. The first author had 3 sources from "Bartam," with a page number in the notes section of the article. I think it would be helpful if you could help organize these links with the correct Bartam books in the bibliography to help readers find source information easier if you can. Kiwi Seratonin (talk) 21:54, 19 October 2020 (UTC)