User talk:Emmaalliison/sandbox

Hi Emma!

You write extremely well, I didn't have to change much of anything! I went through and changed some links, as they had the AU Proxy still in them which doesn't allow the public to view the journal articles that you cited.

I also changed some wording: "blacks" and "whites" are grammatically incorrect as they should be talked about as people. Overall, the content you added was extremely strong and it definitely made the article better.

I don't know if I missed an edit, but the only part of the rubric you didn't hit was the 300 word minimum for changes and edits, but overall the edits you included about Australia was super interesting and gives the reader another perspective which they might not have thought of previously.

Also, when putting what you added into Hemmingway, the readability level is at 13, which is pretty high. We are shooting for 9, and I think if the sentences about the research were just a little more clear and simplified, it would bring it down immensely!