User talk:Emmaskyewilkinson/sandbox

Comment 1
I think the overall organization of the page is is logical and easy to follow. I especially enjoyed the section which discussed how the olfactory system is involved in pheromone detection and how the difference in the size of the olfactory bulb between humans and animals relates to their relative abilities to detect pheromones.

I also enjoyed the elaboration on how the olfactory bulb interacts with different brain structures. I think there could be some more specific information on the olfactory bulb's interaction with the olfactory cortex, such as its relationship with reward association and exactly what type of information the olfactory bulb sends to the olfactory cortex.

The section that discussed possible olfactory bulb dysfunctions was well organized and covered a variety of dysfunctions, which I think helps the wikipedia reader realize how many different processes the olfactory bulb is involved in. Lilytaub (talk) 02:59, 25 November 2013 (UTC)

''Thanks Lily, I have added more information about the connections with the olfactory cortex. I actually realized while looking at more information that the cortex I was referring to was the orbitofrontal, not the olfactory so I have fixed this. Thanks for the comments!''Emmaskyewilkinson (talk) 20:33, 3 December 2013 (UTC)

''I'm glad you thought dysfunction part was well organized and helped connect to other topics in the article, Lily. Thank you for the helpful comments."'' Vmanjarrez (talk) 01:19, 4 December 2013 (UTC)

Comment 2
I think that this page successfully presents the many topics connected to the Olfactory Bulb. Two particularly strong areas are your discussions of the role of the Amygdala and Hippocampus in olfactory processing as well as your deconstruction of possible olfaction disorders. These sections address major themes of our class, for example, how structures in the brain are interconnected and how disorders teach us about a structure's functions.

I think it would benefit the reader if you try to break up some of the longer sections in your article, namely the "Main Olfactory Bulb" and "Function" sections. You could accomplish this by adding more specific sub-sections or perhaps by inserting images or diagrams to accompany these topics. Additionally, it would be helpful to add an image showing the relative locations of the Main Olfactory Bulb and the Accessory Olfactory Bulb in the brain. Lastly, I would suggest moving the "Evolution" section to the beginning of the article. In this way you could pair it with the "Anatomy" section and perhaps address how the anatomy and function of the bulb have evolved together.

Overall I think this page is very well presented and incredibly informative! Great work! Khobbs2017 (talk) 03:10, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

''Thanks for your feedback! As per your suggestion I have added subheadings in the function section; this definitely improves the readability. The Evolution section has also been moved to after the Anatomy section. I think this will allow for better comparison and connection between the anatomy and the evolution of the olfactory bulb. Your comments were helpful, thanks! '' Emmaskyewilkinson (talk) 19:55, 3 December 2013 (UTC)

'' I think your comments were very helpful and Emma's changes did make the article more reader friendly. Also, moving the Evolution section makes much more sense now. As for your comment about an image; Emma and I have been looking for helpful pictures on wikimedia but none really clarify what we are talking about but we will keep searching. Thank you for your input!'' Vmanjarrez (talk) 01:24, 4 December 2013 (UTC)

Comment 3
This is excellent. You clearly spent a lot of time researching your topic and the quality of work you put in reflects that. I have a few suggestions that I think will make the stub better than it already is. First of all, in the lone sentence in the introduction you should probably mention that the olfactory bulb is a neural structure just to make it a little more clear. This is a very minor detail. I agree with the second commenter that you should include a diagram that shows the separate main and accessory olfactory bulbs if at all possible. In the section "further olfactory processing" I would also suggest a diagram of the different brain parts so readers can see the olfactory pathways. In the "olfactory dysfunctions" section I would suggest referencing a study per dysfunction to give an example of how these various conditions affect smell.

The section I have some concern with is the "evolution" section. I do think that it should be moved to earlier in the article, say after the "anatomy" section. I think that it would be helpful to readers to have some history of the olfactory bulb before moving on to specific functions and the like. Also I would like to see references in the first paragraph because although it seems very much like background information, there are parts that definitely seem as if they need to be cited. Moreover, the entire last paragraph is in quotations and I'm not sure why. If you're quoting the entire paragraph you should probably make some note of it in writing since readers won't know where it comes from. Also, I'm not too sure if it's a good idea to quote that much. Perhaps you should summarize instead as it would be a lot easier for someone who knows next to nothing about this topic to understand. However, you guys still did a great job with this and I hope my comments are helpful in any way! --Toh.cameron (talk) 06:12, 26 November 2013 (UTC)C.Toh

''Thanks Cameron! I added the word neural to the first sentence as per your suggestion. I have moved the Evolution section more towards the beginning, I agree I think it works better there. The content of the Evolution section was not our edit, so we are not going to update that at this time, but thank you for that feedback. We also did not write the information within the first paragraph, so unfortunately I do not know where the information was obtained form. We could not find images on Wikimedia Commons of the pathways and of the accessory olfactory bulb in relation to the main olfactory bulb, but we are looking for external images that we may be able to use. Thanks again!'' Emmaskyewilkinson (talk) 19:46, 3 December 2013 (UTC)

''As Emma already wrote we have been trying to find a good enough image but are not having very much luck. We will keep looking because you are right. It would help to orient the reader. The large quote was not part of our project, as Emma mentioned above. Thank you!'' Vmanjarrez (talk) 02:33, 4 December 2013 (UTC)

Comment 4
Good Job guys, you can clearly see that you have put a lot of effort into the basic outline and structure of your page. The information in itself is easy to follow and easy to understand, also I really like how you have linked all the key words and phrases on the page to their original Wikipedia page, making it easier to get additional information if there is something you don’t understand or there is something you want to get a deeper knowledge about.

The evolution part you might want to consider adding to the top of the page so you can get a good overview of where the Olfactory Bulb came from and how come it looks and functions the way it does today before diving into the functions and disorders. Also some of the heading get a little too much text, so maybe break it down a bit, mainly around the functions I would maybe throw in a sub heading. I noticed that some of your sources are from the early 90’s and I suggest you maybe should update them to newer research to make sure that the page is up to date.

Other then that, I really like what you guys did with the dysfunctions. They were well presented and easy to follow and understand. Overall I really enjoyed reading your page and I learned a lot. Good job! Ahagman (talk) 01:30, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

''Thanks for your feedback! The evolution section has been moved to after the anatomy section and subheadings were added in the functions section; I agree this definitely helps to break it up. The information from the 1993 source is about the structure and organization of the olfactory bulb which has not changed and is therefore still up to date, but it is definitely important to keep in mind how old sources are. Thanks again for your comments!''Emmaskyewilkinson (talk) 19:50, 3 December 2013 (UTC)

'' Thank you for your comments about the dysfunction section! Emma moved some things around and created some headings to break up the text you mention that was too much. I found it hard to find sources from more current years about the structure of the olfactory bulb since the structure has not changed since then. Thank you for your Feedback!'' Vmanjarrez (talk) 02:39, 4 December 2013 (UTC)