User talk:Emmasociology1996/draftarticle

Emma the lead section is solid. Your problem is to differentiate the article from the article on Thought Field Therapy. While your new article only has to make a beginning on a Callahan page, the sections that follow from the Lead Section, by and large duplicate what is in the TFT article. What you need to do is find an angle that will focus on Callahan and his work slightly differently. The TFT page is clearly hostile to the theory although balanced in the way it treats it. What could you do? YOur focus is the man and his ideas, rather than the critique. One possibility is rather than focusing on TFT and its critique, focus on what Callahan thought and said about the theory eg. RH and Origins of TFT (why did he go this path? does he or someone else write about this? is there an obituary that might say something about this if he didn't write about it? What did he think of the criticisms? did he rebut them?). Remember you only have to start the ball rolling so to speak. The page doesn't have to be complete. Indeed your work on finding such a comprehensive bibliography for Hallahan is useful for a start. See if you can find sufficient information for two different sub sections (a couple of sentences is sufficient for each, others can build on your work).

JaneHaggis 09:58, 24 September 2019 (UTC)https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Emmasociology1996/draftarticle&action=edit&redlink=1 https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Emmasociology1996/draftarticle&action=edit

Comments on final article draft
Hi Emmasociology1996, Here are some things you could change before you publish this new article. See also rubric in FLO. Lead Section: lots of biography. Check the rubric - this paragraph is a summary of why the article is worth reading. Not sure all is required for example the last sentence. Your focus is on introducing Callahan as the founder of TFT, not 'the man' as a biography. Instead of who he married and children I would have a final sentence that links him back to TFT. Also remember in text links are really important in how Wikipedia is used by both readers and editors. It is likely that some of the organisations listed in your Lead, could have wikipedia pages you might link to. Especially the Association names. Origin section: is there a wiki page for 'tapping therapy'? remember Wikipedia users are often non-specialists. If there isn't, provide a reference users might consult and/or consider putting in a definition. The list of publications is excellent! and will be useful for anyone researching the theory and/or the man. JaneHaggis 01:28, 21 October 2019 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by JaneHaggis (talk • contribs)