User talk:EmmyKayBee/sandbox

Peer Review - Karissa Hughes
Wording and grammar: Overall comments:
 * Maybe use Higher Education instead of further
 * Don't forget to add commas after saying "In year,"
 * She worked at Howard University as (add: an/the) assistant.
 * Sentence: "She began formal study of public health disparities for black and white patients in Philadelphia in 1935 as part of her involvement with the Institute of Race Relations.[3]"
 * This doesn't fit with the other information in the paragraph - consider moving it somewhere else or add a connecting sentence to tie things together.
 * Sentence: "In the years that followed, Alexander was active in a variety of different social, professional, and academic organizations and also practiced medicine at Frederick Douglass Memorial Hospital and Nurses’ Training School, the Hospital of Women’s Medical College of Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania Hospital, the United States Department of Health, and performed administrative work at Convalescent Hospital.[6][7]"
 * Long sentence and kind of clunky - break it into two separate sentences
 * Sentence: "Services ranging from general medicine to obstetrics to emergency medicine were provided often free of cost.[6"
 * Maybe use services included and list the services - the multiple to's don't flow well here
 * You could add maybe one or two subheadings into the career and future ed section to help readers find information faster.
 * Also, maybe talk a little more about the specifics (if you have them) of what Virginia did during her time at certain institutions, researching health disparities (which disparities - and maybe link to wiki articles about these), or her time at the public health service. This would add some "meat" to the article. That is assuming your references go into those things.
 * Don't forget to update the leading section with the stuff you've added to the article - this way people can immediately see what information the wikipedia article has to offer.

Khughes1897 (talk) 22:32, 30 April 2019 (UTC)