User talk:Encinas.geralene/sandbox

Hi Geraline!

I've just read your additions to the eating disorder diagnostic scale article and you're making good progress with expanding the content. You're doing a particularly nice job expanding/clarifying what kinds of questions the diagnostic focuses on.

My biggest suggestions as you continue improving this article are: --Pay close attention to using complete phrasing/active voice (for example, you note that "A study was made..." but it isn't clear who conducted the study. This would be good clarifying information) --Point of view is also something you will want to look at as you edit and revise--there are a couple of spots where you use "you" pronouns, which aren't a POV that is used in this kind of writing --it would be good to consider what sections/headings you plan to add to the article (I might be thinking about sections like "History", "Application", and/or "Diagnoses from this scale") --what additional information are you still planning to add? There are still a number of possible areas for expansion!

My one other note is that it is a good idea to complete and polish your draft in your sandbox (all the way through the peer review, revision, and proofreading process) before moving it to the main article space. This will help minimize the number of edits to the main article.

I hope this helps some as you continue your work on this article, and I look forward to seeing what else you add! Nicoleccc (talk) 00:46, 28 July 2018 (UTC)

Ryan Conrad Peer Review
Hi Gealene.

I really liked your article. The information you presented was very interesting and seemed very factual.My only comment is your use of "you" in the article. At one point you said the questionnaire would ask "you" about something. I think that "you" should be changed to "the patient" as it is previously listed in the draft. I think overall, there could even be more information about why this helps the world, and even make it more clear who the patients are. Be careful to avoid bias when doing this though.

Other than that, I think you have a very strong article, and am looking forward to reading the final product. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ryancc0nrad (talk • contribs) 23:51, 28 July 2018 (UTC)

Marta Cruz Peer Review
Hi Geralene!

Your article seems to be doing a good job, I will recommend to get your information into separate sections. For example; history/context, symptoms, and medical research. It will help your readers get the information they are looking for easily. Also try using the correct wording and avoid bias information, but you are doing great! Great choice! --Maartaacruz (talk) 06:42, 29 July 2018 (UTC)