User talk:ErikaEckermann/sandbox

Respond to your peer review (Osnat and Nicole)

FEEDBACK: The sentence "The concept of violence being ingrained in our society and culture has been around for many years" is too generic and unclear. What do you mean by saying "our society" is that Western Society overall, or U.S. society? Or is it more global? what do you mean "for many years? are you referring to modern times or even prior (Middle Ages or even prior). Also, if you are reviewing aspects in which violence received social protection, legitimation or support, you should just be clear about it from the start.

"as research *grew* the notion that a culture" - FEEDBACK: maybe a better verb would be "suggested" or "developed" or "integrated" or "introduced"

"Examples of our culture legitimizing violence can be seen in rape myths and victim blaming. [4] Rape myths lead to misconstrued notions of blame; it is common for the responsibility associated with the rape to be placed on the victim rather than the offender. [4]" - FEEDBACK: because rape myths and victim blaming is your main examples embodied in Culture of Violence Theory, I would mention that clearly, for example: "Two significant representations/examples of the Culture of Violence Theory are rape myths and victim blaming". OR "The culture of violence theory is best reflected through rape myths and victim blaming..."

"Furthermore, the Culture of Violence Theory potentially accounts for inter-generational theories of violence and domestic violence. [5] Childhood exposure to violence in the household may later lead to similar patterns in marital relations. [5] Similarly, early experience with domestic violence is likely to increase an individual's potential for development of clinical symptoms. [9] Additionally, presence of a preexisting mental disorder may heighten the chances of becoming involved in an abusive relationship." FEEDBACK: Regarding third sentence, would be good to provide an example of "clinical symptoms" of what? Violence? Conduct Disorder? Anti Social Personality Disorder? This last sentence in this paragraph is a little unclear. Do you mean that presence of preexisting mental disorder, COUPLED WITH, experience of violence?

"While our culture of violence has an impact on people as a whole, for individuals who have experienced trauma in their lives the impact can be much larger." FEEDBACK: Sentence is quite generic. Do you mean individuals who have experienced trauma as a result of violent acts directed towards them? If so, that should be mentioned. Also, what are the impacts? better provide a quick description as to the impact, how destructive it can be, for example: Impact can be anything from self-depricating behavior, low self-esteem and chronic involvement in abusive relationships to abusive behavior of the victim towards their children (for instance).

FEEDBACK: great topic and coverage. I would try to be as narrow in my focus as possible. Meaning: provide some history of how this is a phenomenon that is quite old and goes back in time (etc.), then focus on these two expressions of culture of violence theory - rape myths and victim blaming. Provide good theoretical coverage and examples.

Olupesko-persky (talk) 20:41, 1 November 2017 (UTC)