User talk:Erinhufft/sandbox

Adding Sources for Hemodialysis

 * Leghari, Naeem-Ullah, et al. "Hemodialysis; Psychosocial Stressors In Patients Undergoing." Professional Medical Journal 22.6 (2015): 762-766. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.
 * Ferguson, Thomas W., et al. "An Economic Assessment Model Of Rural And Remote Satellite Hemodialysis Units." Plos ONE 10.8 (2015): 1-11. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.
 * Cardinaels, Eline P. M., et al. "Acute Effects Of Conventional And Extended Hemodialysis And Hemodiafiltration On High-Sensitivity Cardiac Troponins." Clinical Chemistry & Laboratory Medicine 53.11 (2015): e289-e292. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.
 * Agüera, Maria Luisa, et al. "Efficiency Of Original Versus Generic Intravenous Iron Formulations In Patients On Haemodialysis." Plos ONE 10.9 (2015): 1-13. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015. Erinhufft (talk) 23:51, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Your sources look excellent, but you should post them in the sandbox, not in the talk page. Josef Horáček (talk) 18:15, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Adding Lead Section
The New Orleans Pelicans were founded in 2014, after changing the name from the New Orleans Hornets. After moving the New Orleans Jazz to Salt Lake City in 1979, New Orleans did not have an NBA team, until 2002, when the Charlotte Hornets relocated to New Orleans, allowing the New Orleans Hornets to make their debut. The team seemed solid and transitioning well to the relocation. During the team's first few seasons, many changes were made to the roster, the coaching staff, as well as the location, due to the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina. The team temporarily relocated to Oklahoma City while New Orleans was recovering from the natural disaster. In 2007, the team made it back to New Orleans for a full season. After having its ups and downs, the team ultimately traded star player Chris Paul, as well as selling the franchise to Tom Benson. Immediately after the deal, Benson changed the name from the New Orleans Hornets to the New Orleans Pelicans. With the new ownership came a new team, including a new star player, Anthony Davis. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Erinhufft (talk • contribs) 21:21, 27 October 2015 (UTC)


 * Again, this should be in the sandbox, not the talk page. The sandbox is for drafts, the talk page is for comments. As for your draft, it's a good start, but I recommend the following changes: 1. Start with a sentence that says when the NO Pelicans came into existence - I supposed it was the year when the team was renamed. 2. When did NO Jazz move away? Add a year to that sentence. 3. Proofread - you need an apostrophe in "During the team's first few seasons." Once you make those changes, you can post the lead. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:29, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
 * Your lead is good, but someone else beat you to the article. It's okay, though, you'll still get your grade. Josef Horáček (talk) 22:15, 8 November 2015 (UTC)

Adding sources for Spain and the American Revolutionary War

 * http://teachinghistory.org/history-content/ask-a-historian/22894 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Erinhufft (talk • contribs) 21:26, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

Copyedit an Article
Aside from the corrected spelling of "sandwich," your edits don't improve the style of the article. If you want to revise the assignment, you have a week to do so. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:15, 12 February 2017 (UTC)
 * Much better. What a fun article, by the way! Josef Horáček (talk) 18:44, 26 February 2017 (UTC)

Adding Sources
Your sources look good, but you must include excerpts from each source. Please do this as soon as possible. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:20, 12 February 2017 (UTC)
 * I saw that you added two sources to "Bipolar disorder," but there are several problems. The excerpt from the first source you posted in your sandbox doesn't support any of the information in the article. That means the citation is misleading. You'd either have to add the information from the source to the article, or you should remove the citation from the article. As for the second source, I haven't seen an excerpt from it, so I can't judge its relevance. Finally, both sources were added awkwardly - each citation should directly follow a sentence that the source is supposed to support.
 * I also noticed that you worked on "Spain and the American Revolutionary War." Again, I only see one source with an excerpt in your sandbox. Remember that this assignment asked you to add two sources to a single article. Each source must directly support the information in the article or you must add information from the sources to enhance the article.
 * If you want to redo the assignment, you must do it by Mar. 3. You'd have to place two sources in your sandbox, along with excerpts from each source, and also add the references to the article. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:09, 26 February 2017 (UTC)

The Lead for Mally Beauty
Not a bad start. Use the phrase "makeup company" as soon as possible: "Mally Beauty is a makeup company..." Leave out the "top-selling brand" part - it's overblown and sounds too much like promotion.

Once you make the changes, go ahead and post the lead. Josef Horáček (talk) 04:35, 22 February 2017 (UTC)
 * Good job on this one. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:15, 26 February 2017 (UTC)