User talk:Etek6/Concrete (perfumery)/Interiorwater Peer Review

Response to Peer Review
Dear Interiorwater,

Thank you for the helpful suggestions! I considered your feedback and incorporated them into my final revision. Here I will address each of your comment (your comments are bolded).


 * In the introduction (the very first section of the article), you should briefly introduce/mention the broad topics you will be discussing in the subsequent sections of the article. Currently, you just have two sentences, which is better than the original article, but you have some room to add some more details on the definition and introduce the topics you will be talking about.
 * Great suggestion; I added a sentence regarding the "Current Issues" section to make sure to introduce all the topics included in the article.


 * In the section you have titled "Sources," you should change the name of the heading so readers do not assume they have reached the citation/bibliography part of the paper and stop reading. Maybe title it something like sources of concretes? Also in this section, you list the flowers that concretes are made out of, but then you say "other plant materials" and then list more flowers? See if you can clarify this, it was confusing.
 * I agree with your point and reworded "Sources" to "Sources of Concretes". I also omitted the phrase "other plant materials" and focused on the point that the main sources are flowers.


 * In the "production" section, you mention that after evaporation it is a wax, with waxy properties. This seems a bit redundant, see if you can explain it in a different way. Also, maybe add some details as to what happens prior to extracted the plant material (is it washed, dried, etc.?).
 * Thank you for catching that; I reworded that sentence to: "The resulting residue after evaporation consists mostly of heavier nonvolatile substances, which give concrete its "waxy" properties." Unfortunately, I could not find specific details on the treatment of plant materials.


 * In the "uses" section, I think you should change the heading to "applications" or similar, uses is very broad. I am also confused because the article talks at first about how concretes are important for perfumery (and don't mention any other reasons we have them), but then in this section you say that they have limited use. Which is it? Try to clarify this so we understand what concretes are really used for.
 * I agree with your first suggestion and reworded it to "Applications". As for your second suggestion, I believe that I did not mention anything about the importance of concrete in perfumery in my draft, so I did not clarify anything further.


 * In the "Issues" section, you should re-title this as "health hazards" or something like that since the only issues are related to health issues. I think you can re-work this section further to improve the clarity of the writing. For example, what do you mean when you say "methods like gas chromatography"? Does that mean gas chromatography was used, or that only a method similar was used? Watching for small details like this will help improve the overall clarity. Also, since you mention there are laws about pesticides, you should put the actual concentration that is considered in the "safe limit."
 * While I understand why you might think the first issue I wrote about could be a health hazard, I thought that it actually is not (just leads to a slightly bad smell), so I did not reword the heading to "Health Hazards". I agree with your second suggestion and just focused on the examples that used gas chromatography. I also agree with your third suggestion and included an example of a European regulation on residual pesticides.

Thank you again for your thorough feedback! Etek6 (talk) 01:55, 15 April 2023 (UTC)