User talk:Ethomp20/sandbox

Peer Review by Micah
Regarding "Haitian Migration to Quebec": I feel like you are missing a paragraph, and need a bit more information to flesh one out. Your first sentence immediately made me ask "Why?" and if you spend another sentence explaining why immigration started at that time and why it rose so quickly, it will be good introductory paragraph for that topic.

The statistics section feels too heavy to be the main paragraph, as it's really just details. For that section, I think it's alright, but you need to explain what those percentages refer to. When you say that it "increases about 40% between 1968 and 1973, rising from 55.1% to 92.9%" I don't know what those percentages really mean. Immigration started in '63, so maybe by '68 it's about 1000 people per year, maybe it's 50,000. The percentages alone tell me nothing. That's the 40%, but the 55.1% to 92.9% bit is even less clear. It rises from one to the next, but those are a percent of what other figure? Total immigration to the region seems unlikely. Is it immigration from some larger region, emigration destination from Haiti? I really have no idea, which robs the statistic of most of its value. You need to look through and ensure that it is always clear what a percentage is actually referring to.

Regarding "Nationalism and Political Tension among Haitian Québécois": You jump from a "call to action" and the idea of "patriotic action" to "potential deportation" without explaining what they actually did. I don't know what "patriotic action" means in practice, nor what the motivation behind deportation was. If it's the protest in the next sentence, your ordering makes that seem like it happened after the potential deportation, not before. Whatever the case, consider whether your sentence order implies chronological order, and make sure you explain what the Haitians actually did as "patriotic action". --Micahabresch (talk) 14:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)