User talk:Evans310/sandbox

Peer Review by Kristine
Hi Laura, I think your addition to the article is great and needed!

I have listed a few suggestions that you may want to consider as you continue writing your draft: 1- maybe you can discuss that choking is no longer a hazard 2- Discuss which structures are removed that are important in the "typical" swallowing phases 3- is there actually any known prevalence of post operative swallowing difficulties 4- Perhaps you can add a source to your first sentence in the oral feeding in laryngectomy section 5- Do you have any sources to add to your last few sentences in the oral feeding after laryngectomy section VoiceDisordersKristine (talk) 21:08, 22 October 2017 (UTC)

Peer Review by Yasbey
Hi Laura,

Your section is very well done - it is both neutral and concise. I think this is an important topic when discussing the impacts of a laryngectomy. There are a few minor edits I would recommend making:

1. I would link the word aspirate, or explain it in the text. 2. In the sentence "The most common complication resulting from total laryngectomy" it would be good to add "comlication to feeding", to clarify the context. 3. It might be good to explain "pharyngocutaneous fistula" in your text, as its a very technical term and you speak about it for the majority of the paragraph. Great work, Laura! Best, Yasbey (talk) 02:20, 28 October 2017 (UTC)

Sujin's Peer Review
Hi Laura, great addition to your article! :)

I think you provided concise and well sourced (lots of systematic reviews!) information while staying neutral. I really like your outline of the section. It is not too technical and provides good overview of the section.

Here are some suggestions for your article:

- Adding hyperlinks for some of the technical terms you used (e.g., dysphagia, nasogastric tube) to help readers who are not familiar with voice.

- Adding common complications resulting from a partial laryngectomy. In the overview section of the article, two types of laryngectomy were introduced: total and partial. I am not sure if a partial laryngectomy would cause the same issue in terms of oral feeding so maybe helpful to add one or two sentences to clarify :)

Again, great work Laura! You did an amazing job with your article. Sujinlim86 (talk) 01:37, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Response to Peer Reviews
Thanks to VoiceDisordersKristine, Yasbey, and Sujinlim86 for the feedback and advice! I think you all made great points and I have started to make changes accordingly. — Evans310 (talk) 18:26, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

After discussing the article with my teammate ABBslp, we decided that in order to eliminate overlap between our sections (hers will cover complications of laryngectomy), I will add some of my article into her section as appropriate, and keep the tone of my section more on the rehabilitation side of things. Therefore, some of the changes recommended may appear in a different part of the main article when all is finalized! — Evans310 (talk) 21:54, 11 November 2017 (UTC)

Feedback from Nicole
Hi Laura

Very well done. Your writing is professional and neutral. I also like the way that you put the hyperlinks to some key concepts of your sections. You are also responsive to your peer's comments. Good job.

Nicole