User talk:FangzhuLu/sandbox article one

Peer Review -- Jonathan Friedman
Overall, I thought the article did a great job at adding new content to a fascinating article that did not have very much topic. The old article was rather dated and vague and this new article did a great job at bringing it up to speed with China's current climate. Additionally, you used a great quantity of unbiased sources and wrote in a very neutral tone; I imagine it would be quite easy to be critical of the government here. There were certain articles that I couldn't read because they were in Chinese.

My biggest comment would be adjusting the weight you give to various topics. You write far more about other digital technologies and do not talk that much about Internet surveillance with the exception of a few instances. I imagine that there would be a lot more info about internet surveillance, how china makes this possible, how Chinese have responded, how the government has published their views, etc that could help further your points. Additionally, the by region section is very specific, but does not clarify exactly what it means for China. There's obviously a lot of information to parse through here, but I think fully fleshing out these sections will be the most important thing you can do. I actually found this very helpful for myself in understanding the balancing of information, sources, and giving background information so that readers could better understand my article.

Hi Jonathan, thank you so much for peer reviewing my article. Those suggestions are very helpful and I will edit and improve the article according to your suggestions soon!FangzhuLu (talk) 15:20, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

Summary of revisions
1. I added more related information regarding "Internet surveillance", including points Jonathan mentioned (how china makes this possible, how Chinese have responded, how the government has published their views). 2. Regarding the "region section", I've done much research and added more related information about the situation of Internet surveillance in mainland China and Hong Kong that I can find online. 3. I changed the history section in a moving forward chronological way. 4. I added more reliable sources and proofread the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by FangzhuLu (talk • contribs) 18:20, 20 November 2018 (UTC)