User talk:FarhanAnjumHaque/sandbox

Peer Review: So far, you and your partner have worked on contributing more information to each part of the book which is a good start! But you definitely need more information. I recommend that you clarify exactly what you are talking about in the section by saying something like “In this chapter” or “This part opens up by...” As well, the paragraph definitely needs some editing, rephrasing and grammatical adjustments. The sentence phrasing is unclear and difficult to understand. For example, the second sentence could be rephrased as “The decade after the end of the famine had lots of rain and an abundant harvest of wheat, but during the later years ___ (place?) experienced a severe famine.” Where was there lots of rain? And what was “well-distributed?” Also, I’m not exactly sure when you are referring to by saying “the later years?” Is this referring to the famine or after? Regarding the last part of the paragraph, there seems to be a random “y” in the middle of the last sentence. Make sure your sentences are structured more coherently and are well explained. In the last sentence, for example, it is unclear in how “the demand for food imports” is connected to “making a uniform global market.” You also need to add some sources. I suggest using a combination of the book itself and information from other sources. Overall, make sure the information you add is all directly connected to the Late Victorian Holocausts and the topic of the part you are writing about, as I don’t see anything related to this “Government of Hell.” Make sure your information is specific to what part of the book you are talking about and remember while adding more information, that this is a Wikipedia article, not a book summary. So be precise. You and your partner’s work is well organized, so keep up the good work while contributing more information to your draft! Abbyecole (talk) 15:32, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review: Response
Hello Abby, Thank you very much for your words of encouragement. I have put a good deal of attention to your constructive feedback. I have already edited the sentences that you thought needed restructuring and also some grammatical adjustments along the way. But I would also like to say that the section is not finished yet and that the headline "Government of Hell" would look a lot more reflective after the whole thing is written up. I would like to commend your statement about integrating new sources about the Holocaust and not only the book. I will be sure to follow up on that in one or two days. All in all, thank you very much for your comments and that they are only a step forward for our draft.--FarhanAnjumHaque (talk) 16:41, 18 March 2019 (UTC)FarhanAnjumHaque