User talk:Fasteddie1911

Howdy. I recently made some edits to the Peacekeeper article that removed some of the text that you added - other portions were simply moved around. There's a couple reasons I did this, and I'd like to explain them because I think it will sort of illustrate a few of the things you might want to watch out for in the future. Hopefully these will both improve the articles as well as make your editing easier.

To start with, much of the language you used in the edit was, for lack of a better term, 'non encyclopedic". A better way to term this is "not literal". For instance, I suspect that the Soviets didn't really have "a noose that slowly tightened". Perhaps "the cost effectiveness of MIRV made the counterforce option increasingly questionable". Basically the goal is to use language that is specific and clear, not "wordy" or clever, because a lot of the people reading these articles are not in the United States, and may be confused by idioms.

Additionally, your edits included considerable amounts of jargon, like "SIOP targeting and force allocation", "redundant ELINT confirmation", "packed a 475KT punch in a MIRV (8x or 10x) configuration". I know what these terms mean, but I suspect the vast majority of average readers will not. Again, use simple and direct language wherever possible.

Finally, some of the text was simply in the wrong place or off topic. I removed the section on the location of the SS-18 missiles, because it has nothing to do with the Peacekeeper - like they said in Star Wars, "stay on target! stay on target!). The discussion covered topics much later than the portion you were editing, this is a bit more subtle, but you need to be aware there is a narrative flow to any article and you should walk the article once-over to see where the timelines are (this is something I see a lot, and I'm not sure why).

So I hope I don't sound like Debby Downer, and I also hope you're happy with the way I edited it up. Let me know if you have any questions/complains/slings/arrows!

Maury Markowitz (talk) 16:01, 27 March 2014 (UTC)