User talk:Feihuamengxue/sandbox

Comments on the slum article outline for your school project
I like your proposal about adding Section 6. Replacing slum tourism section with a link is okay with me. Adding more resources is good, but keep in mind the essay WP:CITEKILL.

I do not understand the need for new sub-sections that already exist in the article (for example 3.2, 3.3, 3.4, etc). Please explain. Do you want to delete and rewrite everything? Why?

Other suggestions:
 * Avoid titles or words that are implicitly WP:POV; for example Risks is better than Problems. Similarly, Section 7 and 8 is confusing. Do you intend to include 'slum upgrading' in section 8? or something else? Which reliable source suggests it is not a countermeasure? Why does Section 8 deserve disproportionate unfair importance outside Section 7? How is that WP:NPOV?
 * Avoid titles and subsections that are WP:OR; for example, subsection 3.5: Other 'possible' causes.
 * Is your proposed section 3.5 where you want to lump the other 5 causes in the current article. Why? Doing so makes them less important than your 3.1 through 3.4, thereby violating balance and WP:NPOV. Similarly why keep colonialism, and ignore segregation? Segregation as a cause that created ghettos/slums in Europe and USA has been discussed by dozens of scholars. Segregation versus Integration debate in Europe, its role on slums is active (see this paper from 2013).
 * Do not try to fit the article based on one or few articles. Some authors do list migration or urbanization, poor planning, colonialism as causes; but other scholars list others currently in the article. Do not take sides and decide which group of scholars are more important and which ones are less important. See WP:DUE.

I can offer more constructive suggestions if you would help me understand your outline by adding few words or a line or two, under each subsection. ThomasJessica (talk) 03:25, 3 October 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for your suggestion ! It's really helpful! BTW, I will finish my initial contribution by thursday and any further advice is welcome! (Feihuamengxue (talk) 15:51, 14 October 2013 (UTC)) Thanks a lot!
 * By adding "sub-sections", I mean adding them to the contents which you already did. I will not rewrite everything of course. You really did a good job! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Feihuamengxue (talk • contribs) 15:52, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 * I added section 8 because in section 7 (already existed) there are many cases, while I would like to add to some general approaches to slums. Maybe it's better to just add a sub-section, approached to slums, or blended the general approaches with the cases. (General approach means, for example: constructing more houses with no specific case.)
 * I agree with you that it's better not lump the other 5 causes in the current article.
 * The last piece of suggestion is really helpful! I will adjust my outline in the sandbox.