User talk:Feliciahjiang/sandbox

Hey! This is very interesting and well-written! I think it really contributes to the two articles you chose. Other than that, the content seems neutral and your sources look reliable. My only suggestion is that you divide this sentence into two: "It specified that the Mockern Station belonging to the Leipzig Economic Society would devote itself to the advancement of agriculture via scientific investigation, through cooperation between practical farmers and scientific professionals." Claire.ren (talk) 01:45, 9 June 2017 (UTC)

Peer review: Nice articles, it seems like you did a lot of work. However, I think it would really benefit your work for you to go through it and edit some of the phrasing: for example, under Hofwyl Model Farm, the first two paragraphs have a few sentences with chunky phrasing and redundant information (particularly "one of the most well-reputed... farms was Hofwyl........ on his model farm, which he named Hofwyl"). In addition, you should probably start off this section more directly, by first explaining what Hofwyl Model Farm is (in basic terms) before describing the setting. The writing should center around Hofwyl Model Farm, and not the agricultural scientific revolution. In your "Rejection of Virgilian Husbandry" contribution, I think it would benefit your writing to take out a bit more emotion-filled words and phrases, i.e. "One of his most vehement dissenters was Stephen Switzer,..."; "William Benson declares his certainty that..."; "again Tull scoffs at a method of plowing"; "Tull's derides the well-respected classical piece". Of course, this could just be a matter of personal taste - but I do think that it would benefit your writing in the lens of a wikipedia contribution to make these descriptors less colorful and more direct. VjiaoBlack (talk) 19:12, 9 June 2017 (UTC)