User talk:Fields18x/sandbox

Good overall start, just missing some citations and pictures to help complete your contribution. Carlapicasso (talk) 16:45, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

Hey Xavia,

I think this is really interesting, and that it will contribute to our project! This fits very nicely with my topic as I am writing about the psychological effects on people who witness the power of acoustic music.Cbettica65 (talk) 03:16, 1 April 2019 (UTC)

Hi,

I noticed you were missing the citation for EFFECTS OF COMPLEX AURAL STIMULI ON MENTAL PERFORMANCE, I took the liberty of making it and putting it below for you in case you would like to add it.

Vij, Mohit, et al. “EFFECTS OF COMPLEX AURAL STIMULI ON MENTAL PERFORMANCE.” Journal of Human Ergology, Human Ergology Society, 28 June 2010, www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/jhe1972/32/1/32_1_49/_article/-char/ja/.

Fudymben (talk) 12:49, 3 April 2019 (UTC)Benjamin Fudym

Rapidrider's Peer Review
It is important to include a direct link to the Psychological Effects of Acoustics Wikipedia page itself as well as in-text links to related subjects of interest. Remember to use either in-text citation by introducing the author/ why he/she is qualified to talk about the subject or use a footnote. There is a solid paragraph of content present but most of it is quotes with little paraprasing. To synthesize sources, which is what Wikipedia wants on its pages, is a difficult but necessary task.

Overall, please limit the amount of quotes to make it your writing and not somebody else's. Use the pyramid structure we talked about in class. Be fact-driven. I'm not sure if there are any content gaps because I am not adequately familiar with what you are trying to say.

Hopefully these comments make sense and I wish you well in your revision process. Regards, Rapidrider (talk) 13:03, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

I think your information here is good....however I think that there might be slightly too much direct information and not enough of your own writing. After all you are the expert here on your topic :). For your direct information make sure you cite the information properly and don't just use quotes. lastly make sure you format the section heading correctly.

Casey518 (talk) 13:05, 3 April 2019 (UTC)Casey O'Connor

I am glad that your wrote about psychological aspects of acoustic. However, I have one question for you. Where is your citation? You should make sure to give credit to author. I think your writing lists facts after facts. You should rewind your work and give some of your own description and explanation. Robertpark1999 (talk) 13:39, 3 April 2019 (UTC)robertpark1999

Looks like a strong start for sure, but you need to cite your sources and connect other wikipedia pages to your topic. I would limit the number of quotations in your article because it kind of looks as if you are just copying and pasting your information onto your page. Good job!Henrykuv (talk) 16:57, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This is a good start but try linking to other articles in your paragraph and to use less quotes in order to simplify your paragraph to make it easier to read for viewers. Sophieb905 (talk) 01:03, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Is the header suppose to be bold? maybe look at the tools to do that. Also don't forget to link the article you are editing. You do use a decent amount of quotes, is there any way to use that information and maybe take away a quote or 2? Also make sure you cite your sources and adding footnotes. Oliviaohearn (talk) 02:32, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Hi! SO far I really like the information used to expand from your peers pages. However, maybe you should add when you're going to add this information i.e. is in the heading, subheading etc. Also, you've added where you have received your information. However, you didn't add the correct type of footnotes. Lastly, maybe hyperlink words so it can help the readers. Miaeschlidt (talk) 17:39, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Good job! The information you found is credible and factual, but to strengthen your paragraph, I think you should limit the amount of quotes instead you should paraphrase some of the findings so it can be easier for a reader to understand. Also, the transition from sentence to sentence causes a little confusion, I think paraphrasing will help make the transitions clearer. Awhite07 (talk) 23:01, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

I would do less quotations, and add some in text citations/hyperlinks. Benitalukose (talk) 03:21, 6 April 2019 (UTC)Benita Lukose

I think you should add a title, citation, hyperlinks. However, it is overall pretty good.Good job! Bokyung0327 (talk) 02:15, 8 April 2019 (UTC)