User talk:Filmstudent3301A/Neema Barnette/TruffautStalker Peer Review

The article itself provides a clear and concise introduction which gives a helpful overview of Barnette's life. This is a strong start as it successfully orients the reader in the overarching life of the director while also keeping it brief enough to entice the reader to continue on through to the rest of the article. Generally, the amount of information included is impressive, highlighting a number of her achievements throughout her life. The amount of information also provides the reader with a sufficient amount of information to acquire a substantial grasp on the director's career. The set up of the page is also well thought through, progressing through the director's career in a way that makes sense with the timeline of her life, which makes it extremely easy to follow. Specifically, the introduction seems to be the most impressive to me, as it really does provide the reader with straightforward outline of the article, something I will attempt to create in my own article.

In order to make the article even stronger, I would suggest adding in references at the end of each sentence. This would be helpful in regards to phrases such as "Barnette’s career started as a stage actress..," "She then went on to the City..," and "Today, Barnette owns her own production company..." If references are added, this would make the article that much more solid, and will only aid in continuing to show how insightful a read it is. Some of the wording could also be improved slightly. For example, "Since then, she accumulated a number of awards, including a Peabody, an Emmy and NAACP Image Award." I would add "she has accumulated" just to make the sentence flow a bit better, however this is really only a minor addition. Perhaps adding in the Barnette's name in places where she is referred to as 'the director' may also make it flow better, reminding the reader of who they are reading about. Again, this is really just a minor adjustment.

I really enjoyed reading your article and it is evident a lot of time and research has been put into it! TruffautStalker (talk) 01:09, 3 November 2019 (UTC)