User talk:Fingers o'toole

Welcome!
Hello, Fingers o&#39;toole, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:50, 18 September 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review
Although I know you did not add these sections, you may want to make some edits to the introduction and culture sections since they refer to the Mijikenda as 9 separate ethnic groups. Otherwise, some clarification may be needed about there association to one another. In the culture section it states, “Mijikenda people are also known for creating wooden kigango funerary statues for which there is an illegal international market,” which may require a little elaboration about why there is an illegal market. Some sentences seem to have some unnecessary wording and should maybe be reduced. There are also some issues with word order. In the slavery section there was some punctuation issues, add commas after “however.” E.g. “However during the colonial period under the British power was given to the Coastal Swahili peoples and the Arab peoples of the area” or “However some accounts state that…” Also, try to provide dates for the precolonial and colonial periods for clarification for other readers. I would also add more footnotes, especially in the slavery section. Some of the sources are cited, but others are not. It is particularly important since you were using sources to contrast previously held views over the brutality of slavery.

Overall, great start to your paper and it was very informative. It appears to be a significant undertaking especially with the number of tribes, making it difficult to create an inclusive narrative. — Preceding unsigned comment added by BBTouag25 (talk • contribs) 03:01, 16 November 2016 (UTC)

I thought your article was very well put together and I like what you did with the subheadings. I see why you suggested those for mine! I'm not quite sure yet where I plan on using them, but yours is very aesthetically pleasing! Very well written with a solid amount of sources and citations. BBTouag hits most of it on the head and I don't know how useful it would be for me to reiterate it. We all probably need more expansion and information but that requires more digging (haha get it? excavation? archaeology???) and we have time to shape and mold this into the best articles we can. Overall, I think you have a very solid start to your article! And thanks for the review on mine! Nicoleslaw22 (talk) 17:54, 16 November 2016 (UTC)Nicoleslaw22

You are invited to a Wikipedia discussion session with your peers!
Hi,Fingers o'toole! Your experience as student editor on Wikipedia is important, as we hope you can get the most out of your Wikipedia coursework. We are inviting you to join an hour-long, video discussion session with a few fellow student editorsfrom other universities who are also completing Wikipedia writing assignment. During the discussion, you will have the chance to communicate with your peersand learn more about how to work successfully work in Wikipedia.

The discussion will take place at Sunday, November 20 at 7PM EDT. To sign up for the discussion, you’ll need to register a Talkabout account here, and then sign up for the slot here

Please feel free to contact me (zyao2@cs.cmu.edu) if you have questions or trouble signing up.

This research is part of a research project and has been approved by the Institutional Review Board at Carnegie Mellon University. You can click here to go to Carnegie Mellon’s Informed Consent for and learn more about this research. Zy87 (talk) 05:05, 16 November 2016 (UTC)

Article feedback
Excellent work on your additions to the article Mijikenda peoples. You might consider adding ISBNs to the citations for the books you used as sources to make it easier for readers to find the books you used. Please let me know if you have any questions. Rob (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:26, 22 November 2016 (UTC)

License tagging for File:Mijikenda Distribution.png
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