User talk:Floralyogi/sandbox

Peer Review of Judy Pfaff Article
Looks great! Well balanced and clear. A few minor suggestions: the Lead mentions exhibitions at UW-Madison, the Denver Art Museum, and the St. Louis Art Museum, but these are not noted in the exhibition section. I would suggest adding bullets for these exhibitions and perhaps paraphrasing the quotes under "Other media." Since these are minor changes though, feel free to ignore them! Overall the article is direct and informative. Miskfortune (talk) 22:26, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

Article feedback
Hi Floralyogi,

The Judy Pfaff reads cleanly, so the copy-editing you did must have made an improvement. It does seem like there are areas to flush out however, and I didn't see that you contributed much new content--it looked as though you mostly rearranged pre-existing content. Areas I see that could have been expanded upon include how she became interested in art (there is a leap between her leaving home and enrolling in the MFA program at Yale). The lead could use more detail about what her work is like. It reads "...known mainly for installation art and sculptures, though she also produces paintings and prints," tells us nothing about what her work LOOKS like. I went to her personal website to look as I had no sense after reading this article. I also don't have a sense of what motivates Pfaff to create art, or what her art is about, beyond the formal composition. The sentence, "Pfaff describes her site-specific installations as abstract narratives based on personal experiences," invites more exploration. In general the "Installation Art" section seems anemic. Miskfortune provided a few suggestions in her peer review to which you didn't incorporate. I am very excited to see the added image you contributed though!

It occurs to me that collectively reviewing a choice article on an artist or discussing the components of an artist bio in class might have been helpful. I did deduct points for not completing an evaluation of a Wikipedia article (week 9), not responding to your peer review, and not drafting your suggested changes and edits in your sandbox. You didn't write about her work at Tandem as you mentioned in your Sandbox. I also noticed that her bibliography is missing the three key works referenced on Oxford Art Online. OAO is featured on the Art and Art History Research Guide. Again, perhaps I should directed more attention to these resources.

I'm glad you found the assignment interesting, and I hope you keep editing and and casting a critical eye on information sources.

Zipperbrown (talk) 19:50, 7 May 2018 (UTC)