User talk:FoCuSandLeArN/Archive 22

Draft Krov Menuhin
Hi and thank you for the below mentioned comments. The article has been turned down again for lack of notablilty. I would really appreciate your help - as you suggested you may be able to give - in redrafting the article in an acceptable format. If you can give me a few brief ideas on where to start, I shall do so. KarenMenuhin (talk) 16:12, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for your assessment,. Along those lines, mine would also include that although he might scrape past notability due to the sheer amount of work he's done and the coverage available, the references provided are mostly to his own work. If indeed the article were to be accepted, it would require extensive trimming of irrelevant, unreferenced or CV-like information (I could help you with that later). I'd love to see what other reviewers have to say about it. We have a slight backlog at the moment, but I'm sure you'll receive a proper assessment quite soon. Cheers, FoCuS contribs; talk to me! 19:16, 27 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Dear, even though I did not review the article myself I could offer you some pointers as to what to do. My main concern is twofold, given the article contains a lot of unnecessary information, which in turn is referenced by primary or unreliable sources. My first tip would be for you to focus on the things that make him notable, such as his work with the BBC, or his oceanic work; strip it to the indispensable minimum. There's also no need to list works or awards. Try sourcing information from reliable and independent sources that discuss him exclusively or in a substantial proportion of the text. If you can't find such sourcing, it'd be best if you didn't include that particular piece of biographical information. His works, partnerships or any associations should not be used as citations. Good sources would be similar to the People article, for example. I'm afraid my sort of copy edits would be quite drastic and disheartening for you, so I look forward to seeing how you manage to improve the article yourself. Feel free to post any questions at the WikiProject Articles for creation/Help desk, and resubmit the article for reviewal when pertinent (make sure you edit the article at least once every couple of months so that it's not deleted). Regards, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  19:25, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Dear FoCuS, thank you so much, you have given me a direction to take and I will now concentrate accordingly. I am not at all averse to drastically reducing the article as you advise. It will no doubt give me a better understanding of the editorial requirements, which I hope will allow me to make more contributions to wikipedia in the future. There is a new article in an Asian Geographic magazine (SCUBA DIVER issue 8/2014/2015, OP no.2, editor Alice Grainger, Asian Geographic Magazines Pte Ltd 20 Bedok South Road, Singapore 469277) in which Krov Menuhin was interviewed at length - this article is printed, but not available on-line. Other such articles in books and magazines exist. I can send you or anyone the article, but how does it help support notability if it can't be viewed online?KarenMenuhin (talk) 19:48, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Of course, sources need not be available online, as long as they're properly attributed. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  22:05, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:Article titles
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Please comment on Talk:Any Time, Any Place
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Chet
Regarding Draft:Chet Bowers, thank you for your helpful suggestions. I will attempt to rework the Ideas section so that each subsection starts with an outside reference, rather than a conclusion from his own work and I will eliminate some of the listing of his published books, as you suggested. Thank you for your time and help!C S Chaffee (talk) 21:00, 18 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:WikiProject World's Oldest People
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Draft:Combating Transnational Organized Crime
Sorry I must have gotten a little lazy towards the end of the article. I will fix today. BTW, are the review of the draft? Briansmith451 (talk) 16:17, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I beg your pardon? FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  16:21, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I didn't rewrite that section enough. Was also asking if you are the one who is reviewing the draft for consideration as an article.Briansmith451 (talk) 16:26, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Oh, I see. No, I won't be reviewing the draft at this time. It's queued at the moment, and it'll be assessed in the near future. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  16:35, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * So you just stumbled on it? Did you read out of curiosity? Just curious myself.Briansmith451 (talk) 16:45, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Yup, I regularly skim through AfC submissions for copyright violations and other common issues . FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  16:52, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Good to hear that someone does that.Briansmith451 (talk) 16:54, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * We are a lucky few! FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  17:21, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I rewrote the section you mentioned. Should the comment be removed or does it not matter?Briansmith451 (talk) 19:43, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * We leave comments so that future reviewers can gauge progress. FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  19:37, 19 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Jones & Jury (TV series)
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DYK for Saint Bartholomew, Brugherio
Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:06, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:Artist's impressions of astronomical objects
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John Albert Mathews - Question
Thank-you for reviewing my draft page. You stated, "need references for biographical information which is unreferenced at present". By this, do I understand correctly that where I was in the Navy or played Rugby, you would need a reference that I was on those teams or in the Reserves? There is no on-line or newspaper references to me specifically in that regard. There are a lot of photos, awards, commendations, etc, but nothing I can find in the public domain. What should I do??

For my rowing stuff I have referenced my participation on teams. For Duisburg and Lucerne International regattas, they don't publish their winners from that period, but I did reference NY Times articles where I am listed as winning. Is that acceptable?

John Mathews jmathews@admin.umass.edu — Preceding unsigned comment added by 128.119.185.12 (talk) 13:54, 21 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Firstly, if you're the subject of the article, it is strongly frowned upon on Wikipedia to write about yourself. Having said that, AfC is one of the recommended paths to take when that happens. As for your questions; yes, these things should be referenced or otherwise deleted. They are not relevant in any case; the NYT reference is fine for the other stuff. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  14:40, 21 September 2015 (UTC)

Foundation
Hello there,

Saw your comment on my article, anything you can do to help with the article ? — Preceding unsigned comment added by S.stevenalbert (talk • contribs) 16:15, 21 September 2015 (UTC)
 * As I stated on my comment, you need to provide extensive coverage from independent and reliable sources about the foundation. I couldn't find much. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  16:43, 21 September 2015 (UTC)

Draft:The Spent Idols
Hello FoCuSandLeArN,

My article, The Spent Idols, has been recently declined because of copyright infringement, but I am the author of the material I have copied. It is from my blog rawkunroll blogspot. Please tell me what should I do in order to it to be accepted, maybe rewrite the text? Thanks, Angel --Angel Spent (talk) 20:35, 21 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Although you might be the author of said content, Wikipedia can't replicate external content, per WP:COPYVIO. You would need to write the text in a neutral fashion, supported by extensive referencing. I do advise you however, that the notability of the band is seriously in doubt. For more information see WP:GNG and WP:MUSIC. FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  22:08, 21 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:Administrators
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Corrections incorporated
Thank-you for your comment. We are doing this documentation at suggestion of my school coming up on their 50th anniversary of the rowing program. I reviewed your suggested pages with my wife, a pHD in Humanities, and she has deleted all extraneous material not referenced, and added some other references. Please review. Many thanks.VikingShieldWall (talk) 18:46, 22 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:Route diagram template
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Thank-you and pease help
Hi. I received a comment from you the other day as you reviewed a page of mine. I appreciate your review as well as the feedback and am happy to adjust to the page based on your feedack. I noticed that you deleted the page, making editing impossible. Is there a way to access the page again in draft mode so that I do not need to completely redo it? Thanks in advance. KarenFLI (talk) 19:01, 24 September 2015 (UTC)KarenFLI
 * To recover the draft, talk to, the deleting admin. As for the subject of the article, I don't remember the specifics, but please take into account our general notability guideline in case you wish to proceed. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  19:18, 24 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I'm in general very open to restoring drafts but I cannot do so when the deletion reason was copyright violation. Sorry.-- S Philbrick (Talk)  21:02, 24 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:Manual of Style/Film
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Review in need and thank you, Wi Brugherio
Thnak you for your review. I've also transalted Cassina Baraggia, could you review the article? If you have any question talk to me! FrOsmetti (talk) 12:34, 25 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Hello FrOsmetti! I'll take care of this over the weekend. Regards, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  12:39, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Palestine
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WiBrugherio
I've translated San Damiano and it need review. The page of San Damiano already existed, can you move my sandbox inside the old page after the review? Thanks. FrOsmetti (talk) 10:47, 3 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Sure, I'll do it this Sunday. Ciao, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  03:10, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Eliot Higgins
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Please comment on Talk:Wildside (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch song)
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Hello
Can you help improving romanian football ?? Liga II or Cupa Romaniei, we already start to improve hard Romanian Cup, but we need a few more people to create at least 1-2 seasons. Thank you. If everyone will create one seasons all editions will be done in one week ! - Reference Liga II  --Alexiulian25 (talk) 06:10, 5 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Sure,, what specifically do you need done? FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  18:22, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

If you go on Cupa Romaniei main page you will see "red" seasons who has to be created, the reference is, and like model you have the previous seasons. Thanks!--Alexiulian25 (talk) 18:26, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

For Liga II I am editing now in the main page, and there are also many seasons to create, just choose what season you want. Thank you!--Alexiulian25 (talk) 18:28, 5 October 2015 (UTC)
 * I see,, thank you. I can't seem to find the page for Liga II seasons before 2007-8, however. FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  18:45, 5 October 2015 (UTC)


 * - Here you have all the seasons till today. Just edit summary : tables with the teams and points.--Alexiulian25 (talk) 18:48, 5 October 2015 (UTC)


 * - 1988–89 Divizia B - Same like here, but in tables. Do you know a fast way to do it ? Copy Past is not good. :) --Alexiulian25 (talk) 18:51, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Did you understand ? Did you start ?--Alexiulian25 (talk) 19:44, 5 October 2015 (UTC)
 * There isn't a quicker way, I'm afraid. I'll let you know when I start. Isn't that just Divisia B though? Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  20:05, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

And Liga II = Divizia B (the older name of the league). Best,--Alexiulian25 (talk) 06:13, 6 October 2015 (UTC)
 * - Cupa Romaniei = Romanian Cup.

DYK for Cascina Increa
Gatoclass (talk) 09:50, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

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Fred W. Weber
Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted because it included copyrighted information, which is not permitted on Wikipedia.

Hi,

Thanks for the review. The reason the content is similar to that of http://www.hcbizdev.com/fwweber/ is I wrote the content for the website and Wikipedia. It is original content I composed. So what is the best way to handled in this case.

Thank you, Eric Weber — Preceding unsigned comment added by MaxtonRoxEric (talk • contribs) 19:30, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
 * You can't add text from another source on Wikipedia unless it's unlicensed, per WP:COPY. If you want to resubmit, make sure the text is unique. You'll have to write a new draft. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  19:37, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

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draft Krov Menuhin
hi Focus, I have rewritten and edited down the draft article Krov Menuhin. As both DES and yourself have been very helpful in suggesting positive and constructive advice I thought to ask if you would take a look at the new draft? There is no rush! and much thanks, KarenMenuhin (talk) 13:33, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Wesleyan Assurance Society
Hello. I have been working again on the Wesleyan Assurance Society wiki page and was pleased to see your update about it being notable. I have tried to further amend the copy and to make sure it is neutral. I have also added several citations and links to give it more credence. Any further advice in relation to getting it published would be very much welcomed.

I want to start working on another new submission shortly! It is addictive. I just need to get it right! Thank you. Inquasionable (talk) 19:32, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you. I appreciate your hard work and enthusiasm. I'll try to give it a look over the weekend. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  19:49, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Kim Kardashian
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WiBrugherio, in need of review

 * Hi again, I've translated Moncucco in my sandbox, could you help for reviewing and publishing it (you can use Moncucco as Title)? Let me know, thanks. FrOsmetti (talk) 10:29, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
 * I've also translated Cimitero storico in my sandbox, it needs review, too. Thanks FrOsmetti (talk) 13:15, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
 * OK, will review them soon! Thanks, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  16:29, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
 * I've also translated Devotional pilasters in my sandbox, it needs review. Thanks again. FrOsmetti (talk) 13:36, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

Article on Gerald Schwarz
Hello,

Wondering if you know how I can have the following message removed from the article on Gerald Schwarz: "This biographical article needs additional citations for verification." Alternatively, if you can tell me how to identify where additional references are needed, I'll be happy to supply them. Please note that this message was left after you approved the article. I believe you approved the article without qualification. Thanks for your help. Sincerely, Margery
 * I accepted the article after a clean-up. I added the tag at the top given all references seem to be associated with the subject. Independent and reliable sources should be added in order for that tag to be taken down. I also strongly recommend you do not edit the article yourself if you're associated with the subject in any way. Please leave a request in the article's talk page or at Requested edits. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  15:19, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Politics
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DC Comics on TV
A few months ago, you'd written to me to talk. I give the little modified link (Draft:DC Comics on TV) so you can watch and read. Fusionem (talk) 13:02, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

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A barnstar for you!

 * Cheers, mate! Much appreciated! FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  02:08, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

my grids
I reduced the use of the abbreviation a little, but left it a few times so as to keep the joke. I'm curious  if anyone  decides to link it.  DGG ( talk ) 22:02, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:African American
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Acceptance of article about 'Johannes Stroux' and rating as C-Class
Hi FoCuSandLeArN Tank you for accepting my article. I actually wasn't aware of the fact that I can create articles on my own in the English wikipedia.

My question is: why is the article C-class and how can I improve it ? Certainly it is desirable to have more English language articles as reference about the subject, but nearly all of the relevant are in German. At least I have cited quite a lot of sources and used references, which is not the case in the C-Class example. I do confess that I am not a native English speaker, so it is certainly necessary and would be helpful to me, if someone could improve my sentences. With regard to reliability of references I think that all sources are from scientific journals or books of a scientific context. So they should be considered as reliable. With regard to the question of notability of the subject: I have counted 300 hits at the Harvard library, which seems to be quite a lot to me. The German article about Stroux has a long list of references. Therefore I think that notability at least in the German article-space is not in question. Main reason for the few English articles is that Stroux' activity was concentrated to Germany. And he wrote his articles in German, which at this time was one of the main scientific languages.

Links and notations in other English articles will probably follow. If other people make contributions to this article I will be grateful. Best regards Ixicon (talk) 21:43, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Don't worry too much about the classification with which the article left Articles for Creation. That's just intended to be a reference point for comparison. For tips on how to improve the article, Good articles might prove helpful to you. The notability of the subject was never in question, if that's what you're concerned about. The German article seems like a good enough article to emulate in the English Wikipedia. References don't need to be in English. Hope this helps, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  02:19, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Raphael_RJ2
I need help, I don't understand what I'm doing wrong to keep getting this page declined. I took my time found Notable links from notable sites & articles & yet they still decline Artist Producer @RaphaelRJ2. Am I adding the links wrong? These are links from sites I see used on Wiki all the time from similar Artist & producers and yet they were approved and have less information. Raphael RJ2 is verified on facebook www.facebook.com/raphaelrj2 & they even have ads promoting his music on Itunes. All the celebrities that he has worked with not only follow him on all social sites, but they have conversations & give shout out for his works with them. What do I need to do to clean up his page, I eliminated all paragraphs that didn't have a valid links.

P.S I also want to create a page on his group member in his company "Beats how U want Em" named Rodney "Rodane" Young. He is a grammy award winning producer. 70.173.137.104 (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
 * There is no evidence the subject is notable. See WP:GNG. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  11:25, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
 * If the producer himself won the Grammy, then he likely passes our guideline on the notability of music-related topics. You need to submit a different article. Regards, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  13:28, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Thank you so much for your reply back, I'm all confused lol & I'm trying to figure what do you mean by "No Evidence". Did I add the reference links right? are the links going to the right place, because the sites I used are notable sites & mention Raphael RJ2 or RJ2's name in the reference giving him credit.

Example Rapper Styles P from the Lox is in the Wikipedia & Wikipedia also added his album in the Wiki because it was notable right? You say there is no Evidence that Raphael RJ2 is notable, yet his name is included on that Notable Wiki. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World%27s_Most_Hardest_MC_Project & also here is a link to a notble site I want to add that mentions Raphael RJ2 Clearly, but I don't know how to add it! http://istandardproducers.com/istandard-blog/track-by-track-review-styles-p-the-worlds-most-hardest-mc-project/

Here is another Notable site called xxlmag that mentions Raphael RJ2's name & gives him credit for Production he did on another Notable Artist that's also included in the wiki named Currensy, but then again they just said "RJ2" Which means Raphael RJ2 for short & you may have missed it when confirming the link. http://www.xxlmag.com/news/2013/08/curreny-jet-life-releases-red-eye-compilation-via-bit-torrent-today/

Infact, here is a new Wiki of a new Rapper named Rapsody with only a few References & one of them including xxlmag https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapsody#cite_ref-2, yet she go included, but I understand why, because she is Verified, but so is Raphael RJ2 https://www.facebook.com/RaphaelRJ2. Who do I go to for help, Am I adding too many references? It's so hard for a Music producer because artist hardly mention names or give them credit, but In the references I used mentioned him & give him credit. 70.173.137.104 (talk) 10:01, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

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Please comment on Talk:Frank Gaffney
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CV
Hi,

This submission appears to be taken from http://www.barganews.com/2014/09/28/sell-eddie-martin-concert/. Wikipedia cannot accept material copied from elsewhere, unless it explicitly exists under a compatible licence and is written in an acceptable tone—this includes material that you own the copyright to. You should attribute the content of a draft to outside sources, using citations, but copying and pasting or closely paraphrasing sources is not acceptable. The entire draft should be written using your own words and structure.

This is not copyrighted text on the link you provide - it was supplied to the site by the subject of my article - same as he supplied ti to me to post on Wiki. Seems impossible to get something published. Can you confirm if we can use this text or should I simply give up?

Thanks! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nujewiki (talk • contribs) 09:31, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
 * No, you cannot use the text per WP:COPY. I suggest you write the submission in your own words. FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  11:18, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

AfC 1-109 Field Artillery
I've converted this into 109th Field Artillery Regiment (United States) which would cover also the 2-109, 3-109 FA etc, and is in accordance with our naming conventions. Cheers Buckshot06 (talk) 05:02, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Appreciated! FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  15:01, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Massacre of the Acqui Division
The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Massacre of the Acqui Division. Legobot (talk) 00:08, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Campus sexual assault
The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Campus sexual assault. Legobot (talk) 00:05, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

16:48:21, 26 October 2015 review of submission by Lstephen22
Hello - I read your feedback and am happy to edit the article to cut down on any statements that aren't backed up directly by an independent source. However before I edit the article again I wanted to check in with you to see if there are any specific sources that I used which you don't consider appropriate? Do you think this article would be acceptable if I cut down some of the "Software" section? It seems to me like most of the other sections are backed up by 3rd party sources, but please let me know if those sources are unacceptable or if there are any other parts within the article which you think are holding it back from being accepted. Thanks in advance for your help! - Lesley Lstephen22 (talk) 16:48, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Hello there. I declined the article due to the fact the company is non-notable. It doesn't count with extensive coverage in independent and reliable sources - as a rule of thumb these are sources such as books, magazines, newspapers, journals, etc. that cover the company exclusively, and about its significance, not just where its HQ are located. I don't think the company has any chance (at least at the moment) of passing general notability or WP:CORP; it might in the future, in which case you're encouraged to resubmit. As for considering your sources: 1) reliable yet routine; 2) reliable yet doesn't discuss the company's notability - can be used to corroborate facts; 3) not usable - PR piece; 4) not reliable; 5) not about the company; 6) can't access it, seems notable yet not extensive nor attesting to the company's notability; 7) not reliable; 8) can't access it; 9) might be used to corroborate some facts. Best, FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  17:33, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Vani Hari
The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Vani Hari. Legobot (talk) 00:07, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Draft:Global Public Policy Institute (GPPi) Text changed in /*Founding*/
Hi FoCuSandLeArN,

Thanks for your comments. I've edited the text in the Founding section. Aside from the single comment on that section, is there anything else on this page that needs changing in order to meet Wikipedia standards?

Thanks! Amaturhistorian — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amaturhistorian (talk • contribs) 11:36, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
 * The submission needs reviewal with regards to its notability. I've left a note on the relevant WikiProject's talk page, so hopefully there'll be feedback provided soon. FoCuS contribs ;  talk to me!  11:46, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:The Stone Roses (album)
The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:The Stone Roses (album). Legobot (talk) 00:05, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Yugoslavia
The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Yugoslavia. Legobot (talk) 00:08, 29 October 2015 (UTC)