User talk:Frankgnadon

Ben Yip
(born April 1st, 1915 in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada) is a center / goal suck in the Vancouver F division Ice Sports league. Commissioner of the soon to be defunct "5 team race league" (also know as the collusion competition).

Education

An astute student, Ben graduated from the Bettman / Selig school of Sports Management (Butte, Idaho). Attending a school pioneered by potentially the two worst commissioners in the history of sport inspired Ben to become a virtual sports icon. Ben has participated in 70 virtual sports pools in the past five years commissioning 64 of them.

Hockey Career

Numerous scoring titles in F division hockey in both Vancouver and Toronto. Professional hockey career was never an option due to an allergy or aversion to defending. Yip needs to introduce himself to his defencemen at the year end banquets. It's the only time they see him up close.

Hobbies

Ben likes popping Viagra pills, owning a small dog (it makes him feel like a big man), going out for drinks with hot co-workers in a group and calling it a date, dropping future superstars for dead people, commissioning virtual sports teams as if he's running a pro league. (Includes screwing over friends and preventing them to do the same to him). Likes throwing out random stats to prove useless points. Eating Colby Cheese.

Heroes

Afermentioned Bettman and Selig, George W. Bush, Dustin Diamond, Cliff Fletcher, John Ferguson Jr., any member of the 1918 Chicago Black Sox, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, the heroine addict from "Different Strokes", Alan Eagleson

Nicknames

Alan Eagleson, Yipper, Cock-Asian, Tommi Santala, Jay PanAWFUL

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