User talk:Franklin Jackson

Who I Am
My name is LTC Franklin Hunter Titus Warringham Jackson IV, PhD and I am a retired lieutenant colonel in the United States Army. I obtained my PhD in Military Warfare & Interrogation from the United States Military Academy at West Point. I served in Vietnam, the Persian Gulf, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Anyone wishing to communicate with me will refer to me as Lieutenant Colonel and nothing else.

My Mission
I am here to bring long-needed and drastic reform to Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. I will employ my extensive and experienced military skills to achieve my objectives. I highly discourage any and all obstruction to my mission and will not tolerate any lack of cooperation by anybody here at Wikipedia, regardless of rank. My reforms will be for this site's benefit and will be completely carried out to make this site what it should be.

Contacting Me
If you strongly feel the need to contact me and you are sure it is necessary to the well-being of the site and that this is your only option, then you may contact me at my phone:

888-727-2325

Call only between Noon and 3 PM, Monday through Thursday. A fee of US$2 per minute will be charged

Name
I will initiate these drastic reforms for Wikipedia by altering it's name. From now on it will be known as "Wikipedia: A Comprehensive, Online Encyclopedia." Once sponsors are added, they will be included in the name.

Logo
All foreign symbols on the Wikipedia Logo will be replaced by English language symbols. The "unfinished" sphere will now appear nearly-completed and will feature symbols such as the American flag and bald eagle. These symbols will be placed in the upper puzzle pieces to promote national pride and Americanism and to show that Wikipedia supports the United States of America as well as just its bookwormish interests.

Sponsorship
Wikipedia will now have its own sponsors in order to promote those sponsors' businesses as well as to bring in much needed revenue to this site. The new sponsors will be Haliburton and Ex-lax and Wikipedia will officially be called "Wikipedia: A Comprehensive, Online Encyclopedia, sponsored by Haliburton and Ex-lax." Advertisements for these two companies will be present on the site and will always be associated with the name in all cases. The logos of Haliburton and Ex-lax will become two of the symbols on the Wikipedia logo.

Fees
Wikipedia will not be a "free encyclopedia" any more. To view the site, a person will have to pay a fee. Each page viewed, including the main page and others like it, will cost the viewer US$1 (subject to inflation). This will bring in more revenue for Wikipedia.

Paychecks
Wikipedia will now pay its editors and administrators a salary 50% higher than minimum wage.

Main Page
All the "In the News" Wikipedia has on its Main Page will now only reflect US Military interests and news (which aren't classified). The "Featured Article" will be promptly removed and terminated and replaced with brief biographies on current US Military leaders.

Languages
To promote United States patriotism and concentration on our own nation, Wikipedia will only have pages in English (American) and no other languages.

New Administrators and Editors
From now on, all Wikipedia administrators will be from either the United States Military or from the Federal Government. A new agency in the Federal Bureaucracy will be in charge of officially running and regulating Wikipedia. Editors will now have to go through a strict and extensive examination to be able to work at Wikipedia and are subject to approval or rejection by FWOA (Federal Wikipedia Oversight Agency). All personnel at Wikipedia must have their computers and all other electronic devices that are used to work with Wikipedia constantly and completely monitored and screened by the Department of Homeland Security. This is to protect Wikipedia from terrorist infiltration.

Headquarters Relocation
Wikipedia will promptly relocate all headquarters to Washington DC, in close proximity to the Pentagon. All administrators to the sight must also relocate there.

PAC
Wikipedia will form its own Political Action Committee. It's PAC will raise and donate money to candidates who best support Wikipedia's interests. Because I am in charge of overseeing and implementing these important reforms here at Wikipedia, I will initially choose which candidates the Wikipedia PAC will donate to and support. After I believe a worthy successor to this job is ready to continue my policies, I will hand over this responsibility to him or her.

Other "Wiki-" Branches
All other "Wiki-" websites that are associated with Wikipedia will be promptly terminated. "Wiktionary" and other variations of Wikipedia will be ended. The "Wikimedia Foundation" and all other "governing bodies" to Wikipedia will be dissolved, letting Wikipedia run on its own.

Board of Directors
Like other major corporations, Wikipedia will adopt a Board of Directors, run by a Chief Executive Officer (CEO), to manage its activities. I will serve as interim CEO of Wikipedia until all reforms are satisfactorily completed and a new CEO is ready to be appointed (by me) who will follow and promote the reforms I am initiating.

Expansion
With all the new revenue coming in, Wikipedia will expand into a large, multi-billion dollar corporation that will be a powerful influential force in the US economy. Is objectives will be to buy out smaller, weaker companies and to expand its financial and business empire. As Wikipedia becomes bigger, it will take on other realms of the economy and will become a powerhouse in other areas such as telephone service, banking, etc. Under my guidance Wikipedia will become the greatest corporation to ever exist.

Lack of Cooperation
As interim leader of Wikipedia and chief overseer of these drastic new changes I am sure there will be some lack of cooperation among the lower "Wikipedians." This will only serve as a detrimental obstacle to the implementation of these important and necessary reforms. Once these reforms have been fully initiated, those editors and administrators who don't wish to cooperate will be laid off from Wikipedia (assuming they are still eligible to work here after the new editor/administrator reforms are implemented).

'''

THANKS A LOT, WIKIPEDIA! THIS BLOWS!
'''