User talk:Funmsie

Summary
This article describes in detail the planning and creation of the Lagos Bus Rapid Transit System in Nigeria. The author uses detailed statistics and specifics about the transit system to inform the reader about its creation and use.

Major Points
The author has definitely done well including statistics and specific numbers. The title and the overview very clearly state what the article will be about, which sets the reader up well to understand the rest of the article. The author has also done an excellent job of adding external links and pointing out important names and titles. There is a section labeled "first phase," however, which makes me curious as to what other phases there were, and are they complete or not? That might be a good way to expand a bit more on the topic. I know the article ends with the acknowledgement that the project should be completed in December 2014, but as that is only a month away it might be helpful to give a more current update on the situation, provided there is one available! I would also suggest adding a bit more detail on the city itself. How many people live there? Why is this system important in the first place? Is this the first city in Nigeria to have an urban transit system like this? Why was this city chosen to be the "flagship" of the transit systems?

Minor Points
One thing I would mention is that it would be good to recheck for consistency in verb usage. There are times when the transit system is described in present tense ("is/does") and times where it is referred to in past tense ("was/did"). I would suggest going back through to make sure all verbs have the same tense. While the article has not yet met the minimum word requirements, the sections are thorough and interesting. Before referring to an act or group by their acronyms, it would be helpful to write out the full title and then add the acronyms in parentheses after so the reader knows what the acronyms stand for. After that they can be referred to in their acronym form for the rest of the article. (This is done a few times but also skipped a few times...I would suggest it be done it for everything, since it takes more words and clarifies even more for the audience!)

Overall I think this article is quite well done! These are all small details to edit, plus some ideas on how to expand on what you've already discussed. Bravo!

AfC notification: User:Funmsie/sandbox has a new comment
 I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at User:Funmsie/sandbox. Thanks! j⚛e deckertalk 20:05, 30 November 2014 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: sandbox (January 9)
 Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Chris troutman was:

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.


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Chris Troutman ( talk ) 00:29, 9 January 2015 (UTC)

Your draft article, User:Funmsie/sandbox


Hello, Funmsie. It has been over six months since you last edited your WP:AFC draft article submission, entitled "sandbox".

The page will shortly be deleted. If you plan on editing the page to address the issues raised when it was declined and resubmit it, simply and remove the  or  code. Please note that Articles for Creation is not for indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace.

If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you want to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at WP:REFUND/G13. An administrator will in most cases undelete the submission.

Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. JMHamo (talk) 00:07, 30 July 2015 (UTC)