User talk:Gareth Forshaw

Gareth Forshaw.

Born: Widnes 1978

Winner of the Barry Hatton Nerves of steal 29 hour DT 125 Testicle Challenge, 4 years on the run,

His last attempt ended in tragedy with a horrific accident which seen Gareth part company with his juvenile testicles, his pain was felt by a million men, by equally as many miles away, Clutching at what was left, which could only be described as a Vagina he was rushed to hospital for surgery he was immediately discharged as the the surgeon on duty was quoted to say " i sent him away and told him to place a stake on the lottery, this is the luckiest man alive!!" He went on to say " Gareth is a 1 in 300,000,000 cases where an adult males balls haven't dropped and said the lack of pubes help him slide over the petrol tank without significant injury or wedgy "

The board of directors, and organizers of the Barry Hatton Nerves of steal 29 hour DT 125 Testicle Challenge event helped in the investigation of the wreck of his bike was startled to see dents in the fuel tank was consistent with that of a budgie's ball sack.

This in turn led to the confusion of his own sexuality, he was driven into a deep depression for 4 years.

Later on in life Gareth joined the royal navy, he was soon discharged with disgrace as his superior was quoted to say " That man is more danger to ships than enemy torpedo's"

Gareth found his true talent when he was spotted by a scout for a village people tribute act at a local bar called the blue oyster, famous for its warm welcoming approach to the sexually confused, the band quickly shot to stardom where his dream of touring the world was realised, he went on to tour all 4 corners of west bank, before cruelly, yet again tragedy struck him down after a fall from high heels at the world famous "The Snig Inn".

Gareth had to have his leg amputated below the knee, he now has a stump with a state of the, cutting edge technology, "De asda trolley wheel" stuck to the end of a stick to help him move around.

Gareth then went on to become a successful drag queen artist with the late, great Rue Paul and toured many of working mans clubs all across the north of england.

His success earned Gareth a small fortune and he faded from the lime light along with his drag queen character "Shiela the Dealer" and settled down in a quiet green secluded patch of his home town called simmis field and lives in a lush 4 man tent with his fiancee Dave "the" bulldog and is expecting his first child with Dave any time soon.

Gareth and Sheila can still be seen on a rare occasion when he's had a babysham and a run 'n' pep or two, in a little quite local pub called "The leggies Inn" ( only when it's karaoke night and it's raining men is played)

Retired from drag queen acts in 2017 Gareth now spends his time in the renowned "the Jockey Inn", a small rural public house for the non testicle type blokes, and enjoys long staggers late at night, down Browning Av. with his fellow booze hounds "iron man" Jacko and the infamous Jimmy "the butcher" jones Who isn't allowed a Facebook account coz either he is to fat or his bird won't let him.

Gareth was arrested and charged with the assault of a race horse in 2019 after cctv at the Aintree racecourse spotted him punching the horse to the ground with his bare hands over lost tender on the race, it was later revealed he and the horse had a race fix agreement and the horse backed out at the last fence, no charges was ever brought to the horse, how ever Gareth was sentenced to 98 months community service where he helped disadvantaged badgers how to hustle at pool and has since become an ambassador for for the north-west chicken grooming club