User talk:GbrooksPDXStudent/sandbox3

=Evaluations=

06/08/2019 Evaluation by WavesOfAmur

 * Points: 41.5/40
 * Grade: 103% --- It looks superb! I don't have too many things to criticize on here, though I guess I'm just not that good of a critic. I think it's an outstanding piece of work, and almost looks like it can work as its own article! Great job.

Meets Expectations (4) - pretty great! I noticed that you capitalized Festival in this sentence: "This has since been overtaken both in size and popularity by the Edinburgh Fringe which began as a programme of marginal acts alongside the "official" Festival and has become the world's largest performing arts festival." While I know what you meant to do with this, perhaps it's best to leave it in lower caps? Another sentence regarding a statistic: "In 2017, nearly 3400 different shows were staged in 300 venues across the city" - it's a very minuscule nitpick, but maybe add a comma in "3,400"? Without it, it seems rather incompatible against the rest of Wikipedia. The sentence "At the beginning of October each year the Dussehra Hindu Festival is also held on Calton Hill.[11]" is rather odd, as well - perhaps try to connect "each year" to the previous subject? "At the beginning of each year in October..." - something akin to that. Otherwise it's great, in my opinion.
 * Spelling/Grammar

"The longest established of these festivals is the Edinburgh International Festival, which was first held in 1947[2] and consists mainly of a programme of high-profile theatre productions and classical music performances, featuring international directors, conductors, theatre companies and orchestras.[3]" <--- this sentence is a tad long, and I know I'm not the one to talk but, maybe it needs a bit of shortening?

Meets Expectations (4) - I think it's pretty spot on! Aside from some odd sentences or grammar, I think this fits into a Wikipedia page pretty effortlessly.
 * Language

Exceeds Expectations (4.5) - while others may not agree with me when I say this, but I think you've gone above and beyond in creating this page! It almost looks like its own article, as opposed to an addition to an existing one. Really excellent job!
 * Organization

Meets Expectations (4)
 * Coding

Meets Expectations (4) - information seems to check out okay. There may be very minor issues of relevance, but otherwise it's perfectly great. One example is "McLeod's music is heard regularly on BBC Radio 3 and throughout the UK.[17]" While it is interesting, I feel like it's not as important as the sentence preceding it.
 * Validity

Exceeds Expectations (4.5) - Judging based on quality of life, visuals and the amount of sources, I'd say you've exceeded the mark here, for certain. Meets Expectations (4) - again, I think that everything seems perfectly relevant, but that one aforementioned sentence (McLeod's music...) threw me off. Now that I think about it, perhaps it could be moved into the radio section, proper? Otherwise nothing of particular note here.
 * Completion
 * Relevance

Meets Expectations (4) - A lot of news sources, but I guess that's what you get when you're talking about radios et al. That's perfectly fine, in my opinion, but unfortunately I don't see anything a bit more academic? Perhaps this subject simply doesn't NEED academic writing, but it'd be interesting to see. Still, I think you've done an excellent job here, as in all other sections! Meets Expectations (4) - I think your citations check out okay. The sentence: "The longest established of these festivals is the Edinburgh International Festival, which was first held in 1947[2] and consists mainly of a programme of high-profile theatre productions and classical music performances, featuring international directors, conductors, theatre companies and orchestras.[3]" -- looks odd to me in terms of citations, particularly the citation "which was first held in 1947[2]...", maybe it needs a comma? Maybe split up the sentences a bit? It just looks a bit unusual to see it like that, but that's probably nitpicking and preference.
 * Sources
 * Citations

Meets Expectations (4) - You've exceeded the number, and you've got the stuff to write about, but it looks like you're citing the same "general source" (BBC News, for example). While I don't think that deters you from being credible nor complete, I think it's just a bit too much of a reliance on BBC news. You may also want to add a "References" section to split apart from the rest of the article.
 * References

6/11/2019 Evaluation by User:BethanyJJohnson

 * Points: 35
 * Grade: 88%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard

Good job, just a few things-

"nearly 3400 different shows" I think technically there should be a comma for "3,400"

"processions, concerts and fireworks" I'd put a comma after concerts

Not sure that "festival season" needs to be capitalized.

Language
Meets standard

Stuck to professional language rather than sounding like a "pro Edinburgh events" page

"pagan old spring fertility celebrations" perhaps "old pagan" rather than "pagan old"?

Organization
Meets standard

Pretty good job here. This is just me being picky, but I would maybe put "Museums, Libraries, and Galleries" between "Music, Theatre, and Film" and "Media", ending with Media.

Coding
Meets standard

Well done. Is there a link for Edinburgh International Festival?

Validity
Meets standard

Completion
Meets standard

You've done a good job giving a solid overview of Edinburgh's culture.

Relevance
Meets standard

I'm not entirely sure that I would put the info about the zoo under "Museums, libraries, and galleries", since it's not really any of those three things.

Other than that, everything seems pretty relevant.

6/11/2018 Evaluation by Eric Scheitlin
Points 40/40 100%- I believe it looks great and its not super big, which is wonderful, but its still straight to the point and precise.

-Spelling- Couldn't find a single error, so that is definitely a plus! Definitely meets/exceeds expectations.

-Language- I think your tone was right on the money, and you seemed to have a very monotone look towards this topic (which is good), you should be informative, not persuasive. Meets Expectations

-Organization- Very well organized, and looks formal. In essence, it looks like a Wikipedia page (like it should). Exceeds expectations.

-Coding-? Meets Expectations

-Validity- Meets Expectations

-Completion- It looks complete but it looks like it might need some more meat in it. There seems to be a few open spaces in it, which makes it look a tad awkward. Meets expectations.

-Relevance- All relevant- Meets expectations

-Sources- Exceeds expectations (28 citations)

-References- Meets expectations

-Overall: Good job! Definitely a nice job you did here, only critiques I have to say is to perhaps add a few more sentences to each section to make the overall appeal seem more "meaty" of information.

06/11/2018 Evaluation by Joshua Gramley
Hey Garett! Sorry to pull in so late on this one--just slowly, steadily chipping away at stuff over here.

Spelling/Grammar nearly meets standards. Some suggestions:

1. "The best known," "The longest established": I would hyphenate these.

2. "which was first held in 1947[2]": I would put a comma after the date on this one, since the sentence seems to run on without. And I think it'll be a pretty long sentence even with a comma there, so you might consider rephrasing a little.

3. "This has since been overtaken both in size and popularity by the Edinburgh Fringe which began as a programme of marginal acts alongside the "official" Festival and has become the world's largest performing arts festival.": would sprinkle some more commas here, after "Fringe" and "Festival."

4. "The Edinburgh Military Tattoo, occupies": comma here, on the other hand, *not* necessary.

5. "Outside the Festival season,": I think festival here should be lowercase.

6. "Amateur theatre companies productions": would add an apostrophe after "companies," or change to "Amateur theatre company productions."

Language meets standard. You strike a good encyclopedic tone here.

Organization meets standard. Organization is a strength here, in my opinion.

Coding meets standard. Can't recall precisely where this goes, but regarding hyperlinking...this will come across as the silliest nitpick of all time, but: Tian Tian actually has a Wiki; you might want to hyperlink to it. There are several Tian Tians. I believe this is the one you want: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tian_Tian_(female_giant_panda)

Validity seems to meet standard. Again, a nitpick, concerning this sentence: "They include 'Sandy Bell's' in Forrest Road, 'Captain's Bar' in South College Street, and 'Whistlebinkies' in South Bridge." ...I see that this one isn't cited. Not having a source for the claim that these spots are "well-known" for their music sort of leaves you open for allegations of advertising :) Sourcing this claim, on the other hand, would improve validity, I think.

Completion exceeds standard. You have much more here than the assignment requires.

Relevance meets standard. This is another strength--everything here is relevant, and obviously carefully considered.

Citations meets standard. These look good. Not much else to say!

Sources meets standard. You have more than what's required. I've checked a few, and they confirm what you claim in your page. They all seem legitimate for your topic. Scholarly ones would be good, but I can see that this might be difficult for a culture page.

References meets standard. Formatting here is consistent; references are pretty simple, so not much to critique.

Really nice work on this page, Garett! Thanks for the opportunity to check it out; I'm sure it'll be a great addition to the Edinburgh entry. Joshua Gramley (talk) 04:27, 12 June 2019 (UTC)

6/18/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 17:25, 18 June 2019 (UTC)

Removing the material that was from the existing Wikipedia article on Edinburgh, reveals that there is very little of anything here, and what is here relies on pretty thin sources.
 * Points: 25/40
 * Grade: 62.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Does not meet standard.
 * "protestant reformation" and "protestant" should be capitalized.
 * "...winter celebration, however it was..." comma splice.
 * "...announced it's plans..." its

Language
Meets standard.

Organization
Meets standard.

Coding
Does not meet standard.
 * "Winter Solstice" should be hyperlinked.
 * "protestant reformation" should be hyperlinked.
 * "Victorian" could be hyperlinked to Victorian morality

Validity
Does not meet standard.
 * "...and into 1950,..." Your source says 1958.
 * 1958 is a little late for "Victorian influences". Where's your source for the Victorian aspect? The Victorians are not generally known for their looseness of morality.

Completion
Standard?

Relevance
Meets standard.