User talk:Geec22/Nenets people

The lead is concise, getting to the point and not adding any extra information that is over detailed. The last sentence "As oil industries continue to expand, the impact will only get more serious and the Nenets people will only suffer more." can be better worded, and perhaps the word "suffer" can be excluded as that could be seen as bias towards the Nenet people.

The article seems short enough to have room to expand on the impacts of the Nenet people, perhaps breaking up the section into subsections that can be elaborated upon. Separate subsections such as 1. migratory routes 2. fishing 3. sacred spots could be created.

More detailed responses of the Nenet is needed. How has the impacts of oil drilling impacted the way Nenets perceive these companies and why they would want to support/protest? Although the negative impacts have been expanded upon, what exactly are the economic benefits for the Nenets that would lead to their support of these companies? Does this create conflict among the Nenet communities? Both sides should be represented.

Overall, this expansion of the original article is well written, neatly organized, and provides a variety of diverse sources that are neutral in tone and trustworthy. It does have a few grammatical errors (placement of commas) that can be relooked. Expansion of the "impact" section may be necessary.

Also, as a suggestion, there could be an extra section about the specific environmental resources available in this area that provokes the interest of such companies.Gloriasiyoungkoo (talk) 21:39, 25 October 2020 (UTC)

The first sentence of Question of Rights sentence says that the Nenets people are "concerned." I think that there could be a better word for it because of what is happening in this situation.

It was also unclear as to whether or not you wrote in the lead. Perhaps add a brief summary of what you wrote in the introduction portion of the article.

In the Mixed Response From the Nenets, the article would benefit from more information. You state how they have previously attempted to organize protests, maybe add how they did so, even if it was unsuccessful. Also, in the Question of Rights section, there could be additional information added. What type of participation do the Nenets people want (if they want it at all, logically they would but make their desires clear)? What type of decisions do the people want to make? This is a place that could really benefit from elaboration. By stating exactly what they want it can make this paragraph really strong!

The sentence "Thus, as the Nenets people rely on reindeer that, in turn, rely on the migratory routes, the expansion of industrial development has had a large impact on the Nenets people," is a bit wordy and difficult to read.

Overall, this was a well researched and well written article! (Bh597 (talk) 04:29, 26 October 2020 (UTC))